Waiwaiwai! That was sooooo great! I love EAF... - Yes yes, a Shui story would be nice... though perhaps Shui-chan can have her own saga, and leave EAF to her parents? Hm...

“Nuri...”

“Hori...”

“Nuri...”

“Hori...”

Mwahaha. Just like Fushigi Yuugi, isn't it? ::Has the giggles now, imagining "Nuri..." "Hori..." instead of "Tamahome..." "Miaka..."::

Darn you woman! Darn you to heck! You keep making me hate your villians and then turning around and making me feel sorry for them! Constantly!

Er, never mind my ranting... _*

WAAAAH! Nonononononononono! You can't kill the Yue! ;-; Mrrrr, onward to the next part...

Wahh! Shui is soooooo cute!

Ooooh! LINKIN PARK SONG! GREAT SONG to go w/ the chappy!

2 many chapters. makes me dizzy.

Koneko no Shi

Death Kitty

O.O I'm scared of Grandma... Poor Yue. Grandma must really like him. LOL! Anyway, good chapter! Keep it up!

Love it! (Gomen...I'm REALLY sorry for not reviewing in, like, forever...but I've been SUPER busy with work at Edwards...and Star Wars comes out this week...*commits suicide here and now*) Anyway, LOVE IT! Keep up the great work, even if this baka cat-girl doesn't review that often! *huggles*

Neko-chan

OH MY GOD! Lauren! You can't leave me on a cliff-hanger like this! ( You're so mean...I want to know what happened to Shiva, and what's going to happen to Kina. Argh! You have to write more, or else I'll sic the dandelions on you!

Ohhhhhhhhhhokay! *nods* I've looked at your author's page, and I realize, now, that this is part of a series...which I suppose I should've realized by the "EAF Part 5" in the title. :P But still. There should be some explanation of that in opening author's notes, so people aren't confused like I was. *nodnod*

Also, you could easily make this story a Newbie Friendly Fic by adding a quick summary of what happened in the previous ones so maybe people aside from those who have already read the other ones could read it?

Ohhhh, this explains a lot. _. Okay. So. I now submit my comments that it would be good if you were to let the readers know from the very start that this is a part of a series, maybe tell them a little about the story and what its premise is, and certainly mention the FY characters in it. *nod* ...and I still think a "Nuri/Hori" in the summary would do wonders. :P:P

...oh. And you should definitely change "Yet Another Story" to just "Akugi," or your own version of it. Iunno, "ToDaL Akugi?" :P *giggle* That looks like "Total Akugi." Hmmm. But, anyway. :P (Sorry, it's early morning. ;;) Anyway. Okay. *nod* Best of luck, then. *handshake* Jaaaaa! Ryuen

Hmm. Well. First of all, I think that this is a little confusing. There are a lot of names and dialogue but not terribly much description of the characters, and when the reader doesn't know who a character is (visibly, at least), it's very difficult to hold onto them throughout a lengthy piece like this. I do, however, think that this has potential-the writing is good, the dialogue is well-done, and...well, bloody hell, Nuriko and Hotohori! _.

But I do think that maybe you need more explanation in here. Granted, I haven't read the next two chapters, and if you go into a great deal about the characters' appearances and just why Nuriko and Hotohori are there with them, then I apologize. *shrug*

Oh, and at the end, where you have "Yet Another Story?" If I'm wrong about this, I apologize profusely, but I'm thinking that perhaps you've read Purple Mouse's Another Story, or perhaps Yet Another Story, and what occurs at the bottom of this page is an Akugi?

(e.g., those fun little segments that often take pieces of dialogue from the anime/fic/whatever and make them funny?)

In that case, you can probably just call it an Akugi, just so people aren't confused. Because I was quite confused for a minute, until I realized what you had (probably) done. _.

Anyway, though. When I have a spare moment, I'm going to see about reading the rest of this and giving you some commentary, because I really do think that it has potential, and I want to see it doing well. *nodnod* Oh-some other things I almost forgot to mention:

I think one of the main reasons why this story hasn't been reviewed by anyone yet is chiefly because there is no mention at all of any of the characters of FY in the summary. Also, if someone were to click on the story and glance at the first paragraph or so, he/she would see unfamiliar names, figure it was some obscure story that had nothing much to do with FY characters, and be on his/her merry way.

I know this, because I very nearly did the same thing. _() It wasn't until I started scanning down the page that I realized that Nuriko and Hotohori were in it, and I think very much that you need some sort of author's note at the beginning, because not only do you need a shounen ai warning, but that would be a great place for you to maybe give a little set-up as to what this story is, what the concept of it is (how it relates to FY, aside from having Nuri & Hori in it), or at least to mention which FY characters appear in it?

*shrug*

These are all just suggestions, of course. Anyway, though. I think that's all I wanted to say. _; Gomen. I'm a little long-winded...can you tell? ;;;;

But. I'll try to read the rest of this later, and give you some comments. Until then, best of luck, think about maybe changing your summary (even if you just put "Nuri/Hori" in there, I guarantee, it'd draw at least a few people _.), and some visual character details are never a bad thing. Jaaaa! *waves* Ryuen