|Reviews for Soda and Weed|
| Martin III 7/16/12 . chapter 5
Great chapter. Bits of it are routine, but the whole of it is an excellent fleshing out of your version of Pad. His being the "big brother" of the East End is a good take on the character, and you deliver it effectively, without any corniness or forced sentimentality, while including enough detail to make it convincing. It helps that Pad's internal reflections are thoughtful but concise.
There are a number of typos as usual, but these are the confusing ones: "that because a truly frightening display if they", "The with a sharp wave which was".
I also found the dialogue around "Dragons 'er real." rather confusing. I've read it over a few times and I'm still not sure what that line means.
This fic in general is shaping up to be a good alternate universe take, or perhaps re-imagining is a better word, since the characters and plot are essentially the same. It's the perspective on things which is changed, really, and you're doing it in a way that adds to the source material rather than simply contradicting it. The class dynamics and other interactions between Pad and Eddie, in particular, continue to be good reading in this chapter.
| RockyRoadSmith 7/3/12 . chapter 5
I loved this update! I'm really impressed at your ability to write accents so fluently! It really brings out the character's expressions. Also, loved the Heal Leaf banter. That's all I can think about when I play this game now. Great work on this! I look forward to reading more! :)
| Martin III 4/10/12 . chapter 4
This is a very good continuation of Eddie and Pad's more harried conversation in the previous chapter. There's some exchage of their backgrounds without it feeling forced or contrived, and the dialogue is very smooth and snappy. Pad's cynicism runs through everything, down to less obvious stuff like his suggestion that his mother has pawned the other half of his pendant, but there's a subtle suggestion that this cynicism only goes skin deep.
Not going to list all of the typos this time, but here are a few that were particularly confusing: "He did even like his Father?", "You don't me a lot of people", "'Oops to jump thought?", and "Eddie saw on ship that".
The scene with Evans is the most enjoyable bit, for the dynamic between the three of them. You do a nice job of making the conversation awkward without villifying any of the three. Very solid retake on the characters. Now try to crank out the next chapter a bit faster!
| RockyRoadSmith 3/29/12 . chapter 4
Sorry I'm late with this review! I really love your characterization of both Eddie and Pad. You do an excellent job writing their personalities! And their banters are just hilarious! I wish that bar scene had been in the game. I would have loved to see Pad get whisky and Eddie get apple juice. I can't wait for more! _
| Martin III 2/26/12 . chapter 3
To answer the question posed in the end notes, accents typically don't come off well in textual form, hence why most works of fiction don't use them, and why the few that do almost invariably use them for only a fraction of their characters. It's usually better to let the reader use their imagination rather than overemphasize the accent. (Also, since the world of Nostalgia is an alternate version of ours, the regional accents would probably be different.)
Anyway, nice to see a new chapter. This is a fun rendition of the sewer quest, and you layer the humor on very smoothly here. I really enjoyed the subtle parody of "Curious, and wondering if it was Pad (because that would make finding him very easy)". Although I should note that "Funnily enough, he stepped on its tail" is too direct; I'd have gone for something like "To be precise, he stepped on its tail."
There are again a number of glaring typos: "...it was time to head down to the swears," "ost seemed to suffer...", "...if a cat and left half-eaten corpses," "...to shoot strait," "...except that they were found in the west end," Also, I can't understand the line "Eddie decided to forget... had lost count some time ago."
Your portrayal of Pad is excellent; he has just the right amount of surliness for this point in the story. It's hard to make the very unequal pairup of a gun and a sword sound believable in prose, but you pull it off pretty well. The dynamic between him and Eddie is set up well, too.
Hope that you'll have a new chapter up before long. By the way, I'll have finished the next story in my collection soon, so you'll have something to bump!
| Martin III 1/12/12 . chapter 2
Awesome to see another Nostalgia fic up! A very good one, too. For two major reasons that I won't get into here, novelizations almost invariably make poor fanfics, but this one shows promise; there's enough added depth to the characters to keep things interesting, yet thus far it's all reasonably loyal to the game's story.
The prologue nicely sets the tone, and it's clear from the start that you have a good handle on your prose. I like how you depict Fiona's plight, and the line "But, she felt like she did know already, she just could not remember for the life of her." is particularly strong.
There are a lot of typos in this fic so far, e.g. "There was a bright like," "and so her joins were stone", "She pondered for a split second?", "Fiona was exited and", "never gave her any answered.", "for month on end," and "did not seem to frail".
The little modification to Gilbert Brown's character, and the resulting portrait of mild familial angst, are both pulled off quite well, and not over-dramatized(which would certainly have weighed down the story). I do think you've overdone Eddie's British mannerisms, though; he comes off as a somewhat offensive caricature at points.
Generally good setting of the stage, though, and there's a good aura of fun to this undertaking.
Oh, and Japanese developers are indeed very delusional about weight, even more so with women than men. If you look at the official site for Arc Rise Fantasia, you'll find all the female characters are of a height/weight ratio that, if shown to a doctor, would result in an immediate diagnosis of life-threatening anorexia.
| RockyRoadSmith 1/12/12 . chapter 2
Ah, another Nostalgia story! Finally! I love where this is going! The way you keep everything just like the game while throwing in humor is just fantastic! I really love how you wrote Fiona's character in the first chapter. She's my favorite character and you've done her justice. I can't wait for this to continue! Great work!