|Reviews for My Struggle|
| Guest 7/13/12 . chapter 2
Telling a story should be more than saying "A happened. Then B Happened. C made me sad. Etc"
| Diablo Priest 6/3/12 . chapter 5
“What a shiny day!” Indeed! What a flower. More Surrealism - the whole fic seems a dream. Mother and Grandmother are re-appearing: good, that should be interesting.
| Diablo Priest 3/21/12 . chapter 4
Ah, so that's Leon's back story. That's some awesome candy!
| Diablo Priest 3/5/12 . chapter 3
Phantasmagoria! This is a fun chapter!
| Diablo Priest 1/30/12 . chapter 2
This fic seems “choppy”. Some polishing is necessary. You might try varying the sentence length and structure: too many short sentences with subject then predicate contribute to the choppiness. Perhaps tighten the paragraph focus too.
However, young Sylvia being chased through the museum was inspired: not only is this an exciting episode, but it seems to foreshadow the boldness of her later “life of crime” with Will. Mother and Grandmother “superheroes” were really cool! You certainly made them more vibrant. I like the genre blending. Your original and interesting references to “The Lion King” are great symbolism – that is fine work. (I agree: Amanda should have sung in the film!)