|Reviews for Secret Admirer|
| mlpfan 3/15/12 . chapter 1
a well contructed and very cute story. the characters were portrayed every bit as well as they are in the show and overall the words painted a clear and enjoyable piture for me the reader. hope to find and/or see more brilliant stories such as this one as i continue to skim through the forum.
| M 3/5/12 . chapter 1
The intro sounds dear to heart and is written with great ardor. It reminds me of the girl in 'A Little Princess' telling her fanciful stories.
I like the nuances in your story:
'How dare somepony...'
'she fell back on her haunches'
'Nopony in Ponyville...'
'dandelion sandwiches, along with a side of hay fries'
'began to daintily eat her own sandwich and think even more deeply about the issue at hoof.'
'to finally see the pony that loved her, muzzle-to-muzzle.'
I like your descriptions. Some of my favorite -
'she thought, her mental voice sounding distant, as if it was not even her own voice.'
'Applejack just stood there in an awkward silence, half in the darkness, half in the light coming from the doorway.'
'her stetson hiding her eyes from view'
'Silence penetrated the darkness, leading to a long awkward pause as Applejack cast her emerald gaze to the ground.'
'"Applejack, wait!" Rarity called out after her, causing the earth pony to halt in her tracks, but she neither looked up nor back.'
'Applejack's jaw moved up and down, trying desperately to work, before she finally emboldened herself and found the words she was looking for.'
'Rarity had to restrain herself from giggling at the scene, for fear of damaging the mare's pride'
'she had to physically restrain herself from leaping into the air while yelling 'Yeehaw'.'
'"Ah ah ah," Rarity chided light-heartedly as she accentuated her statement with movements of her hoof'
'because, the way she said it then, it sounded less like a generic nickname, and more like one that was meant just for her now.'
I can sort of relate with 'for once, it was somepony admiring her rather than the other way around' and "Well...jus' 'cause Ah don't personally like all that frou-frou pamperin' nonsense don't mean Ah cain't admire it in you'
Nice use of vocabulary.
Your story is sweet.
I am happy I have read some of your stories.
Your stories have touched me and spoken to me.
God bless you.
| jman377355 3/5/12 . chapter 1
Very enjoyable read. Had me smiling throughout. Looking forward to more from you.
| Redline57 2/28/12 . chapter 1
This was great! I wouldn't have guessed it was her, but it was still a happy ending. Nice job!
| dALEkilLsU 2/7/12 . chapter 1
sorry about the missing space marks on my other review, i ran out of room and didnt want to get rid of anything. (actually, i did. i wanted to put ''letterer...er..er'', instead of admirer. i thought it would have been funny.), and the spaces were the first to go. again, jealous. spike. sequal. (good idea alert here, ''beeeep''beeeep''beeeep''.)
| dALEkilLsU 2/7/12 . chapter 1
i,first and formost would like to say,i did NOT see applejack being the secret admirer .i was sure it was spike,i also hoped it would be 'cause im a big sparity fan,but i still liked this also kicking myself in the flank for not seeing this coming.(see what i did there, i said flank instead of ass.) i also like that your a brony who uses proper pony lingo,so kudos.(did i spell that right?)anyway,nice job this was actually the first (rarijack?) story ive ever read. try making a jealous spike sequal.
| Guest 2/3/12 . chapter 1
Ahh I've always liked this pairing! The two are so different but you know the whole "Opposites Attract" thing. Anywho, I loved this story. You write excellently or "eloquently" as Rarity puts it XD Great story and I hope you make more!
| Mothbanquet 1/23/12 . chapter 1
Wow! Coincidentally, I've only just started watching the show myself and I have to say, you've really nailed it here. This seems like a geniune slice of FiM, from the well-portrayed characters and setting to the fact that the story has a clear 'moral' to learn along the way.
All of this was delivered with impeccable style and gentle humour, and was extremely well-polished in general in terms of quality. This is another success under your belt and a great first foray into an unexplored fandom!
| Spikesagitta 1/23/12 . chapter 1
Lol! Nice a my little pony fic! I haven't seen this...but this might make me go watch it!
| Antrxx 1/23/12 . chapter 1
Honestly not what I was expecting. I was thinking more along the lines of Spike, Rainbow Dash or even Big Mac. None the less it was still a wonderful story and very impressive how you wrote Applejack's speech.
| boo-doh-bag 1/22/12 . chapter 1
Guess what? This is the first story of MLP I ever read, and I have to say that was really good
I love this serie, but I didn't know about who yuri couple read... So when I saw that you wrote this I didn't think it twice
Yeah, really good... But how does it works to ponies? Do they kiss and doesn't matter if they don't have lips?
But thanks, the character's personality was perfect- actually it was like I was watching it, but with yuri included
Perfect combination :)
| Condor green 1/22/12 . chapter 1
It's nice to see that you are still writing.
I don't like Friendship is magic(or cartoons in general).
But I liked this fic. I thought it was really cute.
| Questionable Object 1/22/12 . chapter 1
Very well written.