Okay...this started out really well, but ended in a bit of a flop.

I absolutely love the twist of not finishing the game in enough time. That was a truly fantastic idea. Your rhymes for Gruntilda were really great too; she's a pain in the royal rear to write for. The beginning was written like a very nice dark fic.

...and then we came to the ending, which reminded me more of a parody fanfiction. "And she got her sisters, and her best friends, and they all got makeovers! Whee!" That disappointed me, because I felt that you had something truly amazing going here.

Please don't think I'm saying this is bad; I'm not. It's still a great standalone fanfiction! I just wish your ending had been stronger; we don't hear anything about our bear and bird duo other than 'paralyzed for life' and 'dragon'. I would like to see what happens beyond that.

Sorry to drag on, but I wanted to share my thoughts. I still really enjoyed this story, and I hope you write more!

Imagine if this actually happened in the game... The nightmares this story would cause. :D

After reading the description, I just realized... SHE'S GONNA DESTROY EVRYTHING!