Like the emotional responses to the fight and during it even if im not sure the fight would/should have happened because eragons not stupid etc. but please update i look forward to see how this pans out now.

wat is het volgende hoofdstuk?

They would never do that. They are not children. They have much better control over their emotions. Especially when Arya had just had that dream and realised how powerful her emotions for him where. She wouldn't be able to risk losing him again. Also Eragon already learnt this lesson in the fourth book when sparing with Arya. So why would she try and teach it to him again? Eragon would have realise she saw him, and that she was using a dirty trick to beat him. He's not stupid.

great chapter :D

woah, did not expect this fight. But what Arya did was kind of a douche move... but Eragon didn't need to punch her. damn. But I liked the whole fight scene, etc. great idea.

nice chapter again :D (not sure why it's all in bold but never mind)

i might i have to reread what you have this chapter was hard to follow with no understanding what came before... but still good stuff, i write well good job...

nice chapter again :D ha, Eragon and Furlin both in the same boat... they need to team up and do something

Ohhh cool, Dragon rider war!

nice chapter :D seeing some AxE soon

Nice chap, keep updating!

it's a nice chapter... i personally don't like the whole "dependant Arya" but it's not what will make or break a fanfic for me...

i don't seem to remember them plicitly saying their feelings for each other so if that's something that you chose to add it would have been better to say that more clearly.

also: the POV changes where not clear enough... i didn't notice the first one untill what Firnen said and i thought: "there's no way he said that to both of them."

also a few typos and some missing words.

This chapter appears to be a bit rushed (watch grammar). I would like you to set the scene a little more (they are on the riders island). Surroundings are very important (i didn't get the tree thing, but maybe that's just me...). What does their little hole-in-the-wall place look like (layout and appearance?)

I also found the conversation quite trivial. I will say once again, PLOT!

NO MORE FILLER!

-ever

P.S. Sorry if I was being mean; I'm usually not...

I enjoy reading upcoming stories, but I will need to start with the negative first before moving on.

A slight technical error, I do believe dragon riders are immortal (please correct me if I am wrong). Another quick point is you should add more explanation for events. It was a little strange when you said there were 5 more dragons and didn't say where they came from. On a different note, the ...'s really urk me, but I don't really know why. I would try to stick to traditional punctuation and have less ...'s. Don't get me wrong, they are great for when people trail off, but they seem to trail quite often (personal preference though). Additionally, I think you would get more readers if you had the first few chapters be plot line, not filler. Right now, the story is very open ended, almost if you haven't yet decided where you want to go with it. It should be more structured. You have the obvious plot of ExA, but you need to introduce a problem for the riders soon. I'm not saying I don't like reading happy chapters (I love celebrations and ExA in Du Weldenvarden), but it is too predictable, and not enough is happening at the moment.

Plot pieces I didn't like were Roran having a castle. He seems like a village man to me. I don't know if it was in the book, but I think Roran said he was going to rebuild carvahall after the end of the war. I also don't know what you mean by Roran fought with the Varden once or twice. I do dislike Arya's air of superiority. I am assuming you made Eragon the lead rider, meaning she shouldn't be telling Eragon to learn patience; she would be out of place, something she never is. I don't think Eragon should have his patience problem anymore (because you are writing after the book), as he has matured a lot over the duration of the war.

On to the good things, I like how awkward you made the conversation between Arya and Eragon so awkward. I would have liked it to be a longer conflict, but it still worked. I also enjoyed the denial in Arya, and her apology after turning Eragon down once again.

Sorry for all the hatin...

-ever

Hi! I kept meaning to review this then I kept spacing out and doing less important things... Like school...

Anyways! This is really good so far! It was a bit of an odd place to stop, but besides that, good job! I really should get back to reading those books!

Oh! and congrats on winning that Amazon thingie! I didn't even know there was a prize for the snowmen!

Well only what 5 years later and 5 dragons? I guess but arya would train them prior so that lacks some reason...

Good comparisons including to Brom but ur sentences are quite run on so divide them occasionally. Nice job