I think you should continue this one and make it it's own little story. I would definately read it again. Well done:)

Intersting very interesting... hahahahahahahahahaha Jk:)

I really like how decriptive you are. You have a good talent. A peice of advice is try to make the one- shot longer and try some little twists here and there.

Otherwise, I love this chapter out of all the others. It's my favorite:)

Good job!

Silver

3...2...1...

YAY! you updated :D Now kill me if you want, but I had exams all the time and I'll have the worst coming in April :( I just hate school, so much, but next year I'm going to highschool, so now I have all the damn test's and eams :(

Anyway LOVE THIS CHAPTER

Awwwww! CUTE!

I know nothing of this story or original plot... but oh well!

Okay, so you need to work on transitioning. Instead of just skipping people, you put 'my golden blond hair and sapphire blue eyes look nothing like my sister's dirty blond hair and chocolate brown eyes'. Also, dont ever speak directly to the audience. You're breaking character when you do that.

I think you should continue this one and build a whole story around it. (whoa i wrote a lot for me)

Loved it

Hi, sorry for not reviewing for so long, but I really couldn't. Soooo I think this chapter is really good and I enjoyed reading it:)

This was good, there was a plot twist and all that good crap. Next time you could make it alittle bit longer and add more detial not to be rude but these little things would make your stories 10x better!

Sorry, I accidentally pressed send before I was finished. This is what I was trying to say.

...Like "Chris' green eyes stared at me intently, his dark brown hair getting in the way. My eyes flickered down uncomfortably and rested on his muscled chest. He smirked, bending down again. When his head was down, we were about the same height, while standing up he towered above me. At 6 foot 4. I was a shortie compared to him, at only 5 foot 11. I looked down at my phone, and saw myself reflected in it: my blue eyes, blonde hair, weary expression. No wonder he calls my a Smurf." ya know? I just think it would make it a bit better.

It's great! Maybe try to be discriptive in a more descrete way. L

Love it, love it, love it! You're so good! I wonder why haven't you written anything earlier? it's awesome and update, I command you, Udapte SOON!