Good
But short. You went at A EXTREMELY FAST PACE. Also, hardly any breathing room, you just explained. Not told. Explained.
AND MY MONEY'S ON JACKIE WON'T SEE JENNY. HE'S IN HELL BITCH.

Good story wish it was longer.

you are all fat as fuck and the game is apsolutley shocking, your all bellends.

Dear sir, I'm glad you enjoyed this video game as much as I did, but first things first, I want the time that I wasted reading your story back. No offense, but your grammar was bad to the point I couldn't understand certain portions, and your story was shallow to the point I threw up in my mouth. No sweat, you just are not talented in writing, find a new outlet.
That's my piece, thank you and have a good life.

Awesome love he endind good job

Your writing is too fast and with little explanation. Slow down the pace a little and allow time to explain what things look like- paint a picture for the reader. Allow time for readers to feel comfortable and get to know the characters- flash-backs maybe? Also, don't be afraid to show that Jackie is an anti-hero. He is NOT a good guy, he just appears that way.

An example here, is that in one sentence, he gets out of a coffin... What? Maybe have Jackie have a bang on the coffin. Give him time to think about his situation, and figure a way out of it.

OMG WISH THIS WAS IN THE GAME

I liked it BUT THAT BETTER NOT BE THE END IN THE 3RD GAME OR IM GOING HAVE TO KILL THE WRITERS!

ps. I can see why you when with this end but im still mad...

This is AWESOME!

This seems like this is going to happen. Nice work.

Personally, I wish this story was longer. One critical flaw I must point out, though: Jackie killed himself with the siphon, and the siphon has the ability to kill a Darkness host permanently, meaning that the Darkness couldn't have brought him back to life.

Good story so far, I hope you continue. Depending on whether or not you want to include the collectible relics from the game, may I suggest Jackie use the Prism, it theoretically could work but he would need to subdue the Angelus long enough to remove it like Victor removed the Darkness (though hopefully without the Iron Maiden.) Regardless I am looking forward to more of this story.

This story is really good. i usually dont read fics below 5 chapters, but this is an exeption. i realy like the story, and i hope you can continue.

darkness ftw!