Just wondering... If this is your own work, surely you shouldn't put it in Heartland? is for stories that are about the fandom that they are in... This doesn't belong in here. Why don't you put it on ? It's 's twin site, and you can long in with this account. And... No offense, but your speech needs working on... And re-checking your work... Like you need puntuation at the end of every part of speech, every sentence... There's an apostrophe in the wrong place too... It's a good story line, but the English needs work on. Is it your first language?

So yeah, that's basically it. Just switch this over to , and it'd be better.

Oh, and I'm gonna offer to be your beta-er, if you want? I have a beta profile, or you can just PM me.

I hope I've helped a little...

Hope to hear from you soon.

MB1098

A very well written story,but you could have expressed the feelings and emotions with a few more words,otherwise it gives me a clear and vivid picture in mind. Good work:)

sup dude

awsome i expect the next chapter coming soon .yes?

This story is awesome! very nyc and descriptive... update some more chps and add some cheesy moments of leo and lilly!