|Reviews for Loyalty|
| Salmya 4/10/13 . chapter 2
I love this story! and I love the fact that you use the name Valfor for Demon Slayer
Its stories like this one that gives me goosebumps... its alot of emotions (for being Demon Slayer :P) and I think you've made a great job writing this story without the emotions getting out of hand.
I just wish you would write more stories with Valfor (3) and Mastema!
| Quest 3/17/13 . chapter 2
Nice story please continue :)
| LadyMelodyLily 8/19/12 . chapter 2
I thought Mastema was a guy...
| Guest 7/20/12 . chapter 2
| Guest 7/19/12 . chapter 2
| Randomness 7/15/12 . chapter 1
Sounds like an interesting couple.
| Teddypro 7/15/12 . chapter 2
Aw, that's it. I was hoping for one more chapter. After all, you can't have past and present without future! But either way this is a nice, little fanfiction. One with a couple of grammatical errors but nothing you can't fix.
| Teddypro 6/4/12 . chapter 1
Very good story, but get the second part out soon. It is a two-shot and I don't like to be left hanging!
| Kittiled 3/25/12 . chapter 1
You shouldn't be speaking. I see plenty of grammar errors your pathetic little review.
'Your story suck'
It should be -Your story sucks- or -Your stories suck- You need to make your verb(s) agree with the subject(s).
'You made a lot of grammar mistakes'
I believe the most precise way is -You HAVE made a lot...-
The proper definition of 'lame' is 'unable to walk properly.' You're using the informal definition; unoriginal could be better.
Your third sentence is a run-on. Split it into two sentences or add a semi-colon so you won't sound like an idiot. Also, it's -who the hall is...- not 'who's the hell is...'
And aren't you smart? No one can delete fanfiction accounts.
And who's everyone? I don't think Demon Slayer should be with Mercedes. Don't speak for the public if you haven't asked for their opinion. It's sad that after one picture of them together, everyone jumped on the shipping bandwagon without even taking a note about their own personalities and how well they pair up. And who's Mastema? Okay, now I know who are the biggest fail troll I have ever seen. If you don't know who Mastema is, then I'm more than positive that you haven't even played as Demon Slayer.
Now, please will you do all of us a favor and never review again?
-End of rant-
Don't let trolls ever get to you. Luckily, fanfiction doesn't have the worse ones yet.
I've gotta say, after these past few months of lowkey following your stories, I'm really impressed with your progress. You are making a few mistakes here and there, but whoever says that you are a bad writer is a complete dumb ss.
Keep writing. I have no doubt that you'd be a great writer someday.
| ladorno 2/28/12 . chapter 1
I've read some of your other stories as well, but I thought I'd leave a review here that pretty much sums up what I think about your stories in general.
You have good ideas, but I think the way you deliver them could be improved more. Oftentimes, I feel like I'm reading a string of broken scenes when they could be integrated more smoothly. That's really my main constructive feedback.
And, as many people pointed out, your grammar could be improved. I know English is not your first language, but I think it's unhelpful to use that as an excuse for why your writing is lacking in some areas. Next time, pay closer attention to subject-verb agreement (e.g. "my wings WERE badly torn up..."). If you need someone to proofread (or 'betaread' as it's called here), I'd be happy to help.
| WildOrion 2/25/12 . chapter 1
To the douchebag who left an anon review:
What gives you the right to say that her story sucks or not? English isn't even her first language and she still writes better than some other authors on this site. And who cares if Demon Slayer is paired with Mercedes.. this is FANfiction, not canon. She's allowed to write whatever pairing she likes. And y'know what, I don't see YOU writing any stories, huh? All you can do is leave an unsigned review flaming someone for something you just don't agree with. Next time, if you have nothing nice to say, just don't say anything at all.
| Guest 2/25/12 . chapter 1
Your story suck! You made a lot of grammar mistakes, and the idea is lame as well. Everybody knows that Demon Slayer is paired up with Mercedes, who's the hell is Mastema anway ?
You shouldn't write at all! Delete all of your stories and delete your account as well!