|Reviews for From Paris, With Love|
| Shimy 3/25/12 . chapter 1
First of all: YAY! A brand new Broken Sword fic! D
No, seriously, I almost didn't believe my eyes when I saw your latest addition to the rare BS pieces that can be found on this website. I was ridiculously happy before I even started reading!
And it just kept getting better. )
I really liked your take on George having known for a long time that he wouldn't be able to forget Nico (and vice-versa, coming to think of it) but having chosen to ignore it until the truth strikes back to force him to realize that. The shoes were a very clever way to show this. And of course they had to be purple!
The only criticism I can make (and I assure you I am not trying to offend you in any way) is that you made some mistakes when you used French words and expressions - which is not surprising and certainly not a bad thing considering that French is not your native language. However, it is mine. )
So, if you'd like to edit your story, here is what I can tell you:
1. "Excuse moi?" "Excusez-moi?"
2. "M'sieur" is quite familiar and French people rarely use that expression nowadays so you'll be fine if you stick to "Monsieur".
3. "I think you are ze one who has already chosen mon amis." Since "mon" is singular you don't need to put an "s" to "ami".
4. "Bon Chance" "Bonne chance".
5. "Une moment s'il vous plait!" "Un moment, s'il-vous-plaît!"
6. "Ah, oui...desole" "Ah, oui...désolée". In French, you need to add en extra "e" when the person speaking is female ;)
And that is all! I humbly hope this can help you.
Also, I couldn't help but notice that you haven't "described" this story as "complete" yet, so I have to say that I really really really hope there will be more!
And I promise I will be there to review! And I'd be happy to help with your French again if you need me to.
Of course, this means you can also feel free to point out any mistakes I may have made in my own Broken Sword pieces. I'd love to hear what you think about them. )
So, congratulations yet again and I hope to send you another review as soon as possible!