|Reviews for From Gensokyo With Danmaku!|
| Pensive Rumination Observer 2/5/13 . chapter 19
CURSES! WHY!? I just spent half a day marathon this fic... RAEG!
Ok calm now. I'm gonna go read the re-write now.
| The Ultimate Chimera Bloodline 9/2/12 . chapter 19
Okay then, let's get this started!
| Sonanoka21093 9/1/12 . chapter 19
Aww... I'll miss this story...
Now to dry my eyes and get back to reading the other one!
| nekokuro13 7/10/12 . chapter 2
Never mind that about chapter lengths. Some people go for long ones, some people go for short ones.
'She just sends an oni to knock me out and lug me back to the shrine.' - Ouch. Won't say you don't deserve that though.
Ow, that's mean of you, to bully Suika that way! Not, that I'm not enjoying it. Neat trick there, and, holy Keine, a tree! Woot! Smash that Jane, Suika!
Ouch, those words. Mean Jane is mean!
Anyways, Yukari's logic is weird.
Premise 1: The human can't leave shrine until the human learns spell cards.
Premise 2: The human will not be taught danmaku.
Thus: The human will never leave shrine?
Yep, I started mine OC at the Human Village. But then, Yukari was hiding said Meri Fuu from Reimu.
| The Ultimate Chimera Bloodline 7/5/12 . chapter 18
O...k...? Really wasn't expecting that!
But it's okay, if you feel like it, you got my support.
The story is great, I would not change anything from it (except maybe the part where Jack steals Ran's clothes).
However, I'll give you a few suggestions on the things you could add later on to give the story more depth.
- Give more depth to the main character, a background story so to say. It's difficult to relate to someone who we know nothing about.
- Add secondary characters that come from outside Gensokyo. We all fully know the cast very well already, which takes me to my next recommendation...
- Give the characters different traits than those everyone knows already. I'm not saying you should make them all Out Of Character, but maybe you can tweak their personalities a little bit. You can achieve this by making them face situations they weren't prepared for.
- Make various types of villains, those who are related to Gensokyo somehow and those who got there for the first time. But all of them need to have their goals very clear to them. We can't fear someone who can chicken out when things start to look bad.
- Speaking of villains, make a powerful entity/character that no one can control (Usually a Worf [Go to TvTropes]). This will prove a great obstacle to everybody, and it will add a lot of tension/drama to the story, depending on how you handle it.
- If you plan on dividing the story in various Arcs, for the love of all that is holy, do not add fillers! They irritate all the readers, and don't help the story on any way. Now, there are a few exceptions to the rule, such as a filler that does change the story in some way. This could vary from hooking up two characters, to explaining the origins of a villain.
- When adding romance to the story, don't make it the center of the plot. We want the love to compliment the action, not to substitute it.
- Unless you plan on making your main character the owner of a harem, stick to a specific character for adding the romance. In fact, make them pass trough various problems trough the story (better if they are to be taken seriously) and slowly realizing their feelings. Don't hook them at the last minute or too early on the story.
- Back to the villains, explain why they became who they are. Give them their respective back stories and something they hold close to. Everyone has a past, but if they lack someone to keep their sanity on check, they might become a Complete Monster [Again, go to TvTropes].
- Jack is already neutral enough, but if you add more characters, don't make them goody-two-shoes or huge jerks. The point of making a realistic character, is that it needs to be someone we can at least understand, or we can imagine ourselves in its place.
- Okay, you can skip this one, but it would be really nice if you take it into consideration. Make references to various things that the readers might find funny or interesting. Being video games, memes, common gags, recent news on the world, anything that will caught the reader's attention.
- The good guys can't always win, that's boring! You have to make them fail once in a while. When something important on the story is at risk, we usually think the protagonist will be victorious since we don't "expect the main character's girlfriend/sister to be horrifically mauled" or "the happy-go-lucky character (Suika) or the mighty overseer of the realm who is too powerful to beat (Yukari) to actually get killed". Imagine our reactions when that thing just happens. We immediately get sucked into the story because it's fresh and unique.
I'll give you more tips if you need them, but for now this is all.
Good luck, and I hope your story comes quite well.
- Alejandro S. (NanayaBloodline) [Now The Ultimate Chimera Bloodline]
| Lapismaster22 7/4/12 . chapter 18
I respect your decision to re-write the story, and even though this one was good in end of itself, I know what it feels like to be unsatisfied with your work. Don't worry though, it's a stepping stone for any writer. All authors need to find just that right feel for their story, and I'll gladly wait for your next performance in the gallery of touhoufiction. Then again if you end up losing yourself to the eyes of the lunatic, seek comfort in Shikieiki's thighs. She does one time offers so your good.
| Nicolas Crossworth 7/2/12 . chapter 18
No! HOW DARE YOU! Jack can you hear me? Jack? Jaaaaaaaaaaaacccckkkkkkk
Anyway, I am speechless... I don't know what to say, really... ASB come on man tell me this is a lie! I mean...Sure you have some flaws hear and there but... but...Crap to hell with it, my friend this Fic is a jewel, you just need to polish it to make shine brightly, I-
What the heck's going to happen to smart Cirno? What of Wriggle? Dai-chan?
You better bring them back you hear me, what? No, I'm not crying! I *sniff* I wanna the thief spark one more time! I'll be waiting my friend and I'll keep reviewing it like there's no tomorrow! see ya!
| Sonanoka21093 7/1/12 . chapter 18
But I don't even really see anything particularly in need of fixing...
| Jellyz 7/1/12 . chapter 18
Well, Thats kind of sad cause I really think your story is interesting so far... If you finish the new-official rewrite then please message me ASAP xD, Thank you!
Hope I get to read your work soon!
| nekokuro13 6/30/12 . chapter 1
Hmm, the five disclaimers. Pretty neat. You got yourself covered.
And nice poem. I guess you got it hard yourself? Did your story bring up mass protests? JK, JK.
Jack Spring? *insert Lily White joke here* Spring is here! Spring is here! XD
'If there's only one thing I have learnt from public school, it's that questions will only be answered after a large monologue, speech, or bloc-o-text. You shouldn't really interrupt these things to ask questions, lest you miss out on valuable information. ' - good point.
'"Nice cover, but flattery will get you nowhere."' - good job, Reimu!
'"It seems like I'm doing all the work, and everyone else gets to live."' - well, at least you're high up the popularity poll.
Lol, Ruukoto, huh? That's someone from PC-98 I never thought I'll be seeing.
Well, beginnings are like that, so I'll be expecting more from the next chapter, and, oh yeah...
It's "border", not "boarder", okay?
Oh wait... wow, that Duwee Davis guy is... wow, his editor vibes blew me away.
| crasher23 6/25/12 . chapter 17
Well another really good chapter, although I realized that with your detail oriented writing style (with character description, motivations, and dialogue) that you have very slow pacing with the story.
While the slow pacing isn't terrible, it can lead to stagnation of the story somewhat. The chapter in the Human village (Chapter 7 I believe) would probably be the kind of pace you want to set up for future chapters down the line.
Also the temporary transformation is a pretty interesting take here, would either his power or Yukari have something to do with this or does he only now posses miniscule amounts of it in his body?
| Jellyz 6/15/12 . chapter 17
Thank you for the new chapter! Love Your Story!
Please update more )
| Sonanoka21093 6/15/12 . chapter 17
My, that was quite the chapter! Way to go, Jack! You may seemingly be utterly human again, but you'll always be a vampire to me, Jack! ...That's to be taken as a compliment.
| Jellyz 5/28/12 . chapter 16
Eye D-man Moar Chapters NAO! lol
Keep up the good work xD
| Gamick 5/27/12 . chapter 16
It's succubi my friend,and I love this never ending arc.