Hee hee... this is adorable! Especially if you've read 'Hawk and Handsaw' and understand where it came from. Please continue... and the very end of the last chapter should be a scene break, followed by:

Ranma set down the final page of the manuscript (helpfully translated into Japanese for his benefit) which Cologne had sent him by mail, and fell out of his chair, laughing until his sided ached. He glanced again at the accompanying letter from Cologne... which mentioned that this new fable was proving immensly popular with the Amazon children, and would likely continue to be told as bedtime stories for many generations to come... and laughed even harder.

THE END

Sickly cute but not finished yet is it?

jajajaajajajajajaajaja.

...

Okay. Please hit return more! I beg of you!

Needs to be reformatted. Cute.

This is... a very odd thing. X.X

LATER

Interesting. Not uitesure what to say to this one.

Good luck & best wishes,

Hououza

Good attempt for the bedtime story. I'd like to see this finished (or at least continued).

I do think, however, that the vocabulary is too complicated for a bedtime story. Also, there's not enough "wonderful" stuff to keep the kid interested.

Just a thought.

Whoa, this is like Ranma 1/2, except Rumiko Takahashi would have had to have done enough drugs to almost overdose. Then, Ranma 1/2'd be like this.

No real beginning. Absolutely no ending. Far too many sentences that should be gathered in single paragraphs each allotted their own. The idea isn't without potential, but it needs a lot of work.

Nice story, friend! *runs off humming his theme song*