|Reviews for Steel Wolf|
| RougeBaron 8/23/12 . chapter 22
Much improved from the previous version. Carlos-Cassandra's breakdown is not (and should not be) a throwaway. Somebody has to grow up and learn from the incident. It's a maturing process.
Overall this is a good work. There are considerable amount of politics and military strategy in this story, something that has been missing from your other stories. People don't just climb on mech and shoot everything that moves (*cough* MechAssault *cough*). They have to have a strategy to maximize result and minimize casualties. The action scenes are well choreographed, and the details are superb. You understand more about how battlemech works, especially ejection pods ). Although the final battles are too cheesy for my taste, they serve the purpose well.
Hopefully there are more BTech stories from you in the future.
| Ragnarok666 8/14/12 . chapter 22
Not bad of an ending. Shame we won't be seeing another battletech fic for a while, so I hope your next fic comes up soon. Not too big a fan of your MTG fic, but I'll still look every now and then.
And wherever the road takes us we'll be ready? That's going to have drawbacks sooner or later. One way or another, you'll eventually run across things you can't see coming. We'll just see what happens when the time comes.
You did well for this fic, my friend. I'll be waiting to see how your next fic progresses.
| RougeBaron 8/13/12 . chapter 21
This is a very intense battle scene. A lot of mechs going down in a short time. Explosions everywhere. Good detail about mech damage too. This is probably the most violent mech action you've ever written. Very enjoyable to read.
However, some parts of this chapter (and the previous couple chapters too) give a feeling that this final battle favors the Arctic Wolves heavily.
1. "However, the Vultures were definitely overheated by now," - Why do all Vultures overheat and none of the good guys do? Nikolai Marauder has PPCs, another Marauder has 6 SRM6. They should overheat before the Vultures.
2. If I count the number of shots Kyle made from the beginning of the fight (airfield raid) until now, he should be low on Gauss ammo.
3. "You were courageous to challenge me, invaders," - Uhm, I don't think so. There are 23 invaders vs. 15 Clan mechs. There are assaults on the invaders side; the heaviest Abby has are 60-ton Vultures. And Abby's back is against the wall; she can only go forward against the invaders. The invaders have all the space they need. IMHO it's Abby's trinary who are courageous by fighting until the end (and THANK GOD no ejection pods flying over their destroyed mechs)
I know that the Arctic Wolves are the good guys and Abby's trinary are the bad guys, and in the end the good guys beat the bad guys, but giving the good guys so much advantage that the bad guys virtually don't have any chance to win takes away the sympathy over the good guys. I couldn't help but rooting for Abby, not because she's my character ), but because she is in a severe disadvantage and still fights to the death. She's like General Kuribayashi leading the Japanese against the ultra-powerful American army in Iwo Jima.
Anyway, thank you for giving Abby a lot of time. You did her justice, and good end too. The story of young Abby will continue shortly.
| Ragnarok666 8/10/12 . chapter 21
One of these days the Arctic Wolves REALLY need to get themselves handed to them. Just as a heads up from what you wrote about curse of Alfonso Vargas and General Abby, you may want to remember the old saying:
"We are not conquerors, we're liberators."
Yes, the year is 3075 AD, but if any of those people still remember that saying, it was the exact opposite in 1945, where the saying was "We are not liberators, we're conquerors."
Besides, it amazes me as to how short sighted the Arctic Wolves are. What they see as "liberation" doesn't necessarily have to be liberation at all. You see the all over the world today, that the only people who see it as liberation are the "liberators" themselves, whereas everyone else sees them only as "conquerors."
Makes me wonder if you'd eventually put up a chapter where the Arctic Wolves "liberate" a place, only to be treated with a very cold reception, and the locals see them as "conquerors."
Anyways you still did well for this chapter, you just let me know when you're ready to read chapter 40 of my fic.
| RougeBaron 8/1/12 . chapter 20
Nice melee. The Vargas fought hard with everything they had but still no match for the Alvarez troops. The Arctic Wolves walked into a gauntlet of fire but survived, and now they have to face Abby and her Clan troops. It's not looking good for the Arctic Wolves...
Some technical boo-boo:
1. "Kyle knew that the pilot inside was definitely dead by now, reduced to a cinder by the flames' intense heat" - No, the cockpit has a heat shield. The inferno will make the cockpit very hot, but it will not turn the pilot to cinder.
2. "An Inferno round exploded into his Marauder's left torso just above the shoulder, spreading flammable jelly all over the 'mech's battle-damaged armor. Another Inferno round smashed into the 'mech on the same spot as the first one, setting both missiles' jelly on fire" - Why didn't the first inferno burst into flames? The 'explosion' should incinerate the jelly.
3. "With that, his ejection pod roared out of the Atlas' head" - Again, the Atlas is not exploding. Why is he ejecting?
| Joshua 8/1/12 . chapter 20
Just a quick note, the way you use infernos in this chapter is probably incorrect. From what I have read infernos work by overheating the mech, not melting armor. Basically what they spray out is a high tech napalm like substance, (ie jellied gasoline).
| Ragnarok666 7/30/12 . chapter 20
Fighting still as impressive as ever. I guess deep down I always wondered in the mechassault universe if people really care about the people in the story, or are they just in it for the mech brawls.
Even the Mechassault games had stories for you to go up against the Word of Blake...
| RougeBaron 7/30/12 . chapter 19
Tough battles ahead! Everybody's working well, and now the Alvarez is closing in to conquer Vargas estate. The coordination between several units is superb. There's a small feeling that this battle is a bit too easy for the good guys, but that's probably because of the Kleins and Laurent Commonwealth helping the Alvarez. If they are helping the Vargas, the Alvarez may not have a chance at all.
| Ragnarok666 7/19/12 . chapter 19
At times I always wonder of us as a species are simply too consumed by out petty conflict problems.
The battletech universe is filled with almost constant bloodshed and all and mercenaries are all the craze, but you'd think people would find a way to determine more decisive "winner take all" battles.
| RougeBaron 7/17/12 . chapter 18
Very nice engagement, and a hard fought win for the Alvarez. The battles becomes more and more violent, and both sides sustain heavy losses. And I notice this is one of few chapters where ejection seats are not thrown all over the place (you *LOVE* to eject, don't you?). It feels more realistic IMHO.
| Ragnarok666 7/10/12 . chapter 18
You know one of these days I'm probably going to have to look more carefully at your Mechwarrior fics in the fighting chapters for future chapters of my own fic, my friend. These are really well done in such an aspect.
Oh and btw, I think I discovered the approx release date for Heart of the Swarm, even though it's not officially announced yet.
| RougeBaron 7/5/12 . chapter 17
Very nice. Support facilities like firebases, artillery emplacements, and airfields have to be neutralized before making a direct attack at the capitol. Looks like the Alvarez team got the first step correct.
| RougeBaron 6/24/12 . chapter 16
Now this is the way you should write a character-development chapter. The entire chapter has only one focus: Carlos state of mind. No flip-flopping between several characters with unrelated events, the dialogues are mature, and the readers are engaged in the flow. There's a strong reason why Cassandra dumps Carlos (not just because), and the reason is valid (not a 15-year-old "I don't want to see you anymore" thingy). This chapter should be a benchmark for your character development chapters in the future.
| Ragnarok666 6/24/12 . chapter 16
See the first half of this is really well done for the emotional part of it all. It just shows how a simple loss of a person can really affect your emotions. Hopefully you'll explain how Cassandra will change her mind later on.
| RougeBaron 6/21/12 . chapter 15
A good change of pace from mech fightings. A lot of fans (mostly younger generation thanks to Micro$oft video games) forget that the mech-bashing, city-stomping, shoot-everything-that-moves sequences have to have a reason to happen. That's where the politics come. And mechwarriors can do a lot more than to sit in the cockpit all day. This chapter brings me back to the good ol' BattleTech days where conflicts are fought not only in the battlefields, but also on the tables, and diplomacy is as deadly as PPC.