I really enjoyed this story. It's unique to see a Lucrecia and a Hojo happy together, and this was well-done. ^^

Terribly clever story, not at all the usual FF7 fic. I am most impressed.

Very nice! THe way you interpretted the story would make the Squaresoft producers proud of their success. Nice language, and I like the way you kept the reader in suspense by making the three characters reveal themselves, instead of you doing it for them. Great tactics!

Now time for some constructive criticism. Not a large amount, so don't fret. :) Here we go.

"Gast turned to leave, he would look for his wife and daughter."

"Lucrecia turned to Hojo, freeing her hand and wrapping her arms around his waist, she buried her face in the crook of his neck."

"Slowly if unsure he put one arm around her shoulders."

Okay. The first mentioned sentence: that sentence is actually two independent clauses slapped together with a comma. Incorrect gramatical usage. It should be something like this:


"Gast turned to leave(.) He would look for his wife and daughter."
"Gast turned to leave; he would look for his wife and daughter."

Second sentence: Not quite the same thing. While this one is technically correct, it would sound better in two parts, due to its choppy flow.

"Lucrecia turned to Hojo, freeing her hand and wrapping her arms around his waist. (Slowly, Carefully, add adverb here if you feel like it)S/she buried her face in the crook of his neck."

Third sentece: 'unsure' should be used as an adverb, and it would be great if some commas would be stuck in there.

"Slowly(,) if unsurely(,) he put one arm around her shoulders."

The only reason I brought these to your attention was because when ending a short story, you want to end it strong. While this is a good idea, not to mention an excellent way to lead up to a conclusion, the grammar's a bit wishy-washy. Don't kill me, I'm just being a good lil' fanficer. :)

Don't let this story be diminished in your eyes because of three sentences that can easily be fixed if needed. Overall, this is one of the best fics I have seen in the Final Fantasy VII section. Very nice job, and keep it up!

~Iris~

GO HOJO! I find him an extremely interesting speci- character. He's a twist on the stereotypical mad scientist and thats why he's so cool. The only thing that disappointed me was that in the end, he never really changed. This fic was just what was missing.