And Zuko is now mentally kicking himself. Crack. Funny crack.

hahaha that's really funny! At first I thought it might of been Azula, but I think Mai writing them is really funny. lol

Amusing. And I liked seeing Ming again!

OMG that's hilarious. I was fully expecting a heated or uncomfortable confession, not Zuko catching Mai writing about what he should have told her. Okay, so the uncomfrotable was totally there and I totally laughed.
This was really good.

...I love you so much right now.

So if I'm interpreting the ending correctly, Mai and Ming are the ones writing the serial novel. That is *hilarious*.

(dies laughing) Oh, this was *glorious.* Maiko and Jeeming (Jing?) FTW! Your prose has become a lot tighter and more focused, and the pacing was great. I was laughing nonstop at the turgid prose, and the twist at the end was brilliant. I also loved the clash between subversive feminine desire and mainstream respectability that's at the heart of much of fandom, and the clever way it was resolved. Great job!