wow just wow it was really good

I love it can't wait for more

Really good, can't wait for the update

It's awesome Bro

This is awesome. I have seen the anime RosarioVampire as well as Ah! My Goddess. You are awesome.

Me gusto gracias por el aporte!

There are some things you can improve on. Like make a new line every time a person talks. Then there would be no need to bold the lettering when using a third character to talk, But I suggest that because there is no other type of talking like mental talking or another language like in other stories you could have all speech in either bold, italics, underlined or even a combination of a few. This would further distinguish between normal writing and talking writing. Just a suggestion that I have found useful myself.
A fellow writer
Silverwing

The only problem that I saw was that you need to separate the conversation a bit more. For instance, when someone starts to talk, start a new paragraph for them. Other than that, it is a really good fanfic that I hope you continue with.

Ha Belldandy the goddess and Keiichi the human from Ah! My Goddess. You really are a fan of everything romantic aren't you?

Well you remained true to the essense of their characters. Although I would think that inner Moka would be more prideful and tough. You need to bring out the difference between inner and outer more. They are to similar, inner seems too nice. Inner Moka should be more reserved and show her kindness and love through her actions, like how you had her protecting her little sister. But not actualy saying that she was protecting her. Inner Moka has trouble saying nice things, and is completely outright in all aspects. While Outer Moka is completely the opposite, says more nice things and doesn't like to get physical. But both don't often speak their feelings. However that's just my opinion.

first off nice "Ah, My Goddess" reference. second please do update faster this is a great story.

sweet and nice chapter too i can't wait

I like it when people put a twist on the origanal story, and I like how you twisted it. I can't wait for you to update next.

I am so Happy the new chapter came out for the story, and I hope you will keep on writing about it.

I am so glad you are working on the story you made. I love it so much. Please keep up the good work.

Cool man update soon!