|Reviews for Escape|
| TheKnightofAwesome 3/15/12 . chapter 1
A nice start. I'm actually pretty curious to see where you plan to go with this.
The biggest problem that I had was the sudden change in P.O.V. about one third into the chapter. You start out great, an interesting opening, nice use of diction that feels just like the game, but it in first person. Then when you change to the writing (which wasn't very smooth either) it suddenly goes into third person.
It just threw me off for a moment, and didn't seem to fit, especially since in the game Alan refered to himself in the first person in the Manuscript pages.
Try to keep that in mind as you keep going.