Ok Ok, this story was pretty good. I think you should make it longer. I understand that you don't get much computer time but the story would be better if it weren't over in one move.

You could of made it Longer that while people dont review i did like story thouth i will start my first story in a day or two

WOULD YOU GUYS GOD DANG REVIEW? I WORKED HARD ON THIS AND I DONT GET THAT MUCH TIME ON THE COMPUTER AND IF I DONT UPDATE FOR AWHILE IT'S CAUSE OF MY LITTLE TIME ON THE COMPUTER SO FLIPPING REVIEW!