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Are you sure that Seth and Sandy aren't related or maybe the same age, as in back in kindergarten? That very self-absorbed MO is something they have in common besides physical traits. It's almost eerie.

I don't expect much positive from Seth unless he ever grows up maybe by age 30, but whatever Sandy's problem is can't be excused. If he had ongoing issues with Ryan's mother, those were between the 2 adults. Making Ryan the innocent target when he's already the victim of circumstances beyond his control only emphasizes how little Sandy thinks of anyone besides himself. If he honestly doesn't want to be saddled with Ryan and regrets having him around, then he should stop punishing a kid who has no choice and too much to contend with. Someone with any decency would try to find someone to support and care for Ryan if he wouldn't. If you wanted me to stick pins in a Sandy doll now, you did it! If I felt horrible about Ryan's predicament before, it's even worse. It sounds like he knows that his condition is getting worse, but has no one to turn to, something that's been made crystal clear.

Thanks for the Easter gift, I think. Ouch.

Ryan couldn't be more the opposite of Seth, and not just in looks. Selfless and self-sacrificing compared to self-absorbed. Only someone so focused on himself would make the leap about Ryan being a threat and assuming what Seth does about Ryan being the center of the universe. Not only does Seth want/need that status, but he doesn't want anyone even close for competition and yet he contradicts himself and wants some kind of friendship with Ryan. I guess that means in the short term until Ryan's too sick again, or dead like Seth predicted, has worn out his welcome and purpose, or it's all on Seth's terms.

I was really glad to have some of Ryan's perspective and a look at some of his story instead of skimming anything about Seth. I'm a little lost about time and how long Ryan was in the hospital, how long he was home before going back to school, if he was left alone all day or longer, how much pain he was in and how sick, even on the days without chemo or radiation. He had to be very weak and miserable and lonely in that isolation. His only contact would be a father who doesn't seem to want him, to be around him, or know what to do around him or care enough to try. He has other priorities. Even if a kid wouldn't notice, another parent should be calling him out on it.

I definitely feel sorry for Ryan having to go it alone, having no answers about his health or his personal situation. He has to feel like he doesn't belong anywhere. If anyone ever needed someone to talk to and take care of him with no strings, it's him. He's like the poster child for needing a hug or a few thousand.

I'd like to read flashbacks to get an idea of how things went from bad to worse and past to present, although I'm sure it won't be pretty.

Seth is so Seth, which isn't a good thing as far as I'm concerned. He can't get over himself and his very mistaken take on things. If he had noticed anything by now, it might have been that Ryan's not getting everyone's attention and being showered with concern and hovered over. Sandy left him in the hospital after very serious surgery suffering from a serious illness for how many days while he was often with Kirsten and Seth? It doesn't add up. Another contradiction is that Seth wants his friend back, but he wasn't a friend to Ryan, although he used him until it wasn't to his advantage. Besides, why be friends with someone dying and who would take attention away from you? Confusing.

I'm glad that you're thinking about flashbacks to fill in gaps and give a better idea of what things were like in Ryan's life when his mother was still alive. She couldn't have been killed at a worse time for him. It's hard to even imagine what he has to be going through with being sick, chemo, radiation, all of the side effects, and then facing and recovering from surgery. It sounds like a daily battle and juggling act that he's had to face alone. I'm not surprised, but disappointed that Sandy has failed to be someone who could put his son first, something a father should do, especially when there's only one parent and the kid has been hurt so much and is struggling with so many issues. It sounds like Ryan is more isolated and alone than ever, yet somehow puts others first, including his father. He wants more for Sandy, no matter what that means for him. What really hit me was how openly he talked about dying, and not just "some day." He's been looking down the barrel of that gun for years and has to be scared. Hearing it from Seth and watching how his father has behaved has to reinforce his fears.

Interesting that Kirsten has more perspective now. Is it from being away from Sandy and reflecting on what she saw from him or what she heard that night from him and Seth? I don't see Ryan making it too easy for Seth, not that he's punishing him, but because he has to take care of himself. No one else will, and he's been hurt too much already. Does he even have the time or energy to figure it all out if he could trust someone who hadn't done exactly what he'd dreaded? I don't know how he even gets through school with all the time he's missed and his cycle of treatments now. He's got such different priorities than kids his age or most adults.

Another overdose of Seth, but I guess anytime I'm reading Seth I feel that way.

I really feel for Ryan. He sure isn't the center of attention in anyone's world or relationship. He's a second thought in his own home and maybe that in Sandy's life on a good day. Any father who would spend more time pursuing a girlfriend and being with her and her son at their apartment than supporting his own critically ill motherless son especially while he was recovering from major surgery in the hospital has zero priorities beyond himself. Those are his true spots and I don't know what could change them if Ryan's health crisis that's gone on for so many years in his short life and Sandy's wife's death didn't. If Seth thinks that Ryan would be getting all of the attention, he's sadly mistaken. That's never been Ryan's life, not even when he needed it most.

I think buying a clue would be an understatement. There are things someone can say that can be pretty easily forgiven is thoughtless or careless, but what Seth did and then said was calculated, the height of insensitive and just cruel. He's old enough and smart enough to know far better, but far too self-absorbed to ever consider something close to anyone's POV besides his own until it works to his advantage. A sad commentary on immaturity and selfishness and any attempt 2 months later, really, 2 months, to say something differently is way too little and much too late.

How has Ryan been handling all of his daily struggles with post-op care, all of the medications, his latest round of chemo and radiation after the surgery and all of the physical and emotional costs of that cycle? It's beyond disappointing that Sandy doesn't seem to have changed at all and has left Ryan to his own devices still so lost, confused, resigned that he can't possibly have long to survive (but still willing to make any sacrifices so that Sandy can be happy even if Ryan is hurting) and no idea how to deal with it. Kirsten seems to have gained a little bit of maternal and adult perspective. I wonder where it was hiding before?

Thanks for your author's note to think about and for the update.

Very glad to see an update and especially that Ryan's back. Just reading about what he has to deal with is heartbreaking. It had to take a lot of courage for him to confront Sandy and ask the questions that he did knowing how much any answers or change of topic being brushed aside would hurt. Ryan can't be in a very good place just out of the hospital after that kind of surgery and chemo. Feeling that awful and being in pain would be bad enough if he didn't feel alone and neglected and abandoned in favor of someone else. When Sandy forces him to go to Kirsten's, it had to make Ryan think that he cared more about her and himself than Ryan. When Sandy didn't even try to interrupt Seth or stand up for Ryan, who had to be stricken, he had to think that Sandy knows that he's dying and is already moving on. It would only be natural that Ryan would miss his mother anyway, but especially now. He's desperate for comfort and attention given willingly and selflessly. For someone who is so accepting and who never makes demands, he has to wonder just what he's done to deserve this, other than being born and getting sick. You really make his isolation and sadness feel real. I really hope that someone shows up who will support him like you say.

Lots of lessons to be learned. Seth might be upset, but he needs to learn some big ones. If Kirsten is going to teach him, someone has to teach her. Someone really has to teach Sandy, and fast. It had to be impossible to ignore his lack of reaction, or how he reacted so wrongly. Kirsten might not have any attachment to Ryan, but I hope she's starting to see that things aren't right.

Thanks for writing.

Ooh boy, what a depressing chapter ! :(
As usual, as the story progresses, as frustrated I get with Sandy, I mean ... can't he open his eyes and protect his own kid instead of a brat ...
I'm glad Kirsten tried to step it up though.
I wish we had some kind of flashback between Ryan and his Mom, it's really heartbreaking how much he misses her.
Also, I really like your plan. I hope Ryan will follow through his dreams and apply to Juliard, even without his father's approval.
Lastly, is Ryan supposed to be out of the woods now? I'm a bit confused.

Cheers (please post up some more soon ;) )

Thanks for the intro to fill in some blanks without giving too much away. Whether you continue with this story or end it, and where and how could be a prob maybe, is your call. I guess you might have to make it clear that any new story is a continuation, but then that defeats the whole purpose of ending it, doesn't it? Anyone who's watching for updates could be confused. I guess the story either way is what matters.

Ryan's suddenly much more outspoken with Sandy, but maybe that's because he's so hurt by his behavior (neglect) and selfish choices? Most parents at least try to put their kids first whatever their own personal life is like, especially a seriously sick kid in the hospital with an uncertain future and no mother.

Ryan had his thyroid out? That really is major surgery and he had it done while he's this sick too. He would have been in bad shape and unless he's been in the hospital for a while, he'd be hurting, exhausted, weak and miserable and taking a pharmacy. He'd also have one nasty scar at the base of his neck. Poor kid. More chemo on top of it would be brutal. More father of the year points for Sandy for dragging Ryan out and to Kirsten's place so he can have what he wants and send a clear message of who is important to him and where he wants to be.

I should have been surprised and disappointed by that and that he didn't intervene during Seth's tirade of how Ryan was dying, but I almost expected it. At least Kirsten snapped out of it enough to have him go after Ryan and realize that she has work to do with everyone, starting with Seth. Maybe she's starting to see things more clearly and wonder what kind of person Sandy is when he didn't react, comfort Ryan or even silently urge her as Seth's mother to speak up before he did? I don't know if she was just being polite when she first saw Ryan again, but that was a big change from before. Either she recognizes that it's the decent thing to do, cares enough about Sandy to do something for Ryan in front of Sandy, or she knows she hasn't acted like a parent or adult thinking about anyone but herself and her son.

Heartbreaking at the end with Ryan so alone, but I guess he's been alone since his mother died and in the middle of the family mess his whole life. That tidbit about how his mother became pregnant raises questions. Does he feel like Sandy ever wanted him at all and is stuck with him? I agree that it feels like Sandy's been erasing Ryan's mother and Ryan sure needs someone, even if it's in memory, to cling to for some kind of comfort. It's painful to think that he can't plan for a future. That's the sort of thing that his doctors would want him to focus on as part of coping and recovering.

Thanks for writing again.

Seth's been reading too many comics too long. After a couple of sentences about him and his POV, I'm ready for something else. Sorry, but them's the facts.

How's Ryan coping or isn't he? Still stuck maybe close to death in the hospital? What's that been like for him without help? It's all been so vague and has lots of opportunities to explore. Could you maybe tell more about that and slow down with details? It's like there's more about the little things and almost nothing about the major. It's hard to think of a seriously sick kid whose life's been falling apart as the part that should be forgotten or a side note.

I don't know how Sandy can go back to fix the damage he's caused and added to for years, but going ahead with Kirsten and her family and their life sounds like it has to be without Ryan by now. Decision made and actions speak louder than words and all of that. Sad to see Sandy's choice, but I guess he made it a long time ago. He just didn't expect his wife to die before the time was right for him. Back to the questions above! Quite the mess.

Thanks for the new chapters.

Ooooh, you are evil !
How dare you, a cliffhanger !
I hope you won't let us hang around for too long :(
Hope we get some Ryan time too :)

Cheers !

I'm feeling very sorry for very alone, very sick, very uncertain Ryan. If I've got it right, he has no mother or father either the way Sandy's decided to be, doesn't know if he belongs anywhere with anyone who cares at all and doesn't know if he'll live or die or if anyone will notice. About as bad as it gets. If Sandy has his way and ends up with Kirsten and Seth, is there someone to rescue Ryan? It sounds like Sandy's made his choice and Kirsten is on board too, but not with Ryan in the picture. She's not taking on a kid who's not her own and she made her feelings very clear about Ryan, even if being sick isn't his fault. If she wanted to pretend to care, she would have visited him and asked why Sandy wasn't. Sounds like she's glad that she won. Back to who's going to step up for Ryan while Sandy sails off into the sunset and his new life that Ryan's being erased from, almost like he's being erased from the story. Disappointing parallels.

So I guess we're supposed to feel sorry for Seth? I can't pretend to. I don't get what the big deal is when there are much more important things. Not typical for a teenager, but typical Seth? Moving on.

Did I miss what happened to Ryan? Was he taken away by a relative or social services or is he still in the hospital? Say that you didn't kill him. Why do I think that Sandy might feel let off the hook if he wasn't stuck with the responsibility that he avoids? Has he even seen Ryan lately or been home? Is someone going to take care of Ryan for real and stand by him?

Like with the last few chapters, I'm really missing Ryan, what's going on with him and if Sandy's even a part of his life. Maybe I mean if Ryan's a part of Sandy's life if he ever was. I still can't get past what happened when he basically left Ryan at the hospital when it sounded like Ryan had major surgery, although you glossed over that for some mysterious and really disappointing reason. Kirsten and Sandy's fling is more important?

I can't feel sorry for Seth or care too much to pay attention, but maybe he needs a wake up call. He's not a little kid too young to understand and he's got a sweet life.

More of what's been forgotten pushed aside for chapters in a row coming?

Thanks for writing even if it wasn't what I was checking in for.

Glad to see another update, but have to admit to some disappointment. I'd been waiting to finally get into what Ryan's dealing with on so many levels and just how much Sandy's dropped the ball pretty much for all of Ryan's life. For someone who doesn't sound like he ever wanted to be a father or a husband, at least to Ryan and Ryan's mother, he's ready to do it with someone else. So much to get into there, especially with a kid who's suffered so much in silence and has so much to go through. It's almost like a separate life and an isolated one from Sandy and the other 2. It also sounds like Sandy and Kirsten and Seth have something in common with being so selfish. Can't bode well, except for the 3 of them.

I'll be honest about not reading too much about Seth because it was about him and the Sandy and Kirsten connection. Not exactly tops on my list. It sounds like Sandy's been a real presence there and totally absent from Ryan's life, another big lie and contradiction with why he changed his job. I'm sorry not to see any hint of the other story and relationship with Ryan's struggles with being sick and scared, alone, losing his mother, his friends because of his illness and being left out and behind by Sandy. And Seth's having a pity party? Something sure doesn't add up.

I'd been checking for updates, but since I really don't get Seth or have any interest in him and have been invested in Ryan and the very real problems he faces on his own that go way, way beyond what self-absorbed Seth multiplies to epic melodrama, I guess I felt like Ryan and that crucial story was totally missing again. This should mean that at least he isn't dead yet or hasn't been removed from his home because of Sandy's neglect. Yet. Maybe? Or maybe Sandy moved out and just left Ryan behind? It sounds like he's not far from it, but hard to tell too much without anything to go on.

I'll be hoping for more of what I was waiting for at some point, but thx for a chapter to skim.