That was great! I never really thought about Ranma in quite that way before. Guilt, anger, remorse, naivete...they all make up parts of his character, but to bring them out by killing Ryouga and Ukyou...wow. That was brilliant! Very few fics manage to be so in-character and yet so different at the same time, and I think you really pulled it off well. Ok...enough gushing, now for constructive criticism.

As much as I liked how you explored the dark aspect of Ranma's thoughts when I 'spoke' above, I think you could have gone just a touch further with it. It was almost like you skimmed over the grieving to get to the end result. Perhaps Ran-chan should be a bit more introspective after each death?

Another thing that bothers me is the lack of a lead-in to the whole 'demons in Nerima' bit. It is after all a crossover so some things are left to the assumption of the reader, but it was like they just suddenly dropped into the Ranmaverse and it was never discussed how familiar with them the Ranma cast was. They deal with a few in the series, but never anything like what happens in Sailor Moon.

The voices in Kaiba-Ranma's head were nearly impossible to tell apart, and I got the feeling there was a third voice in there from the 'dialog' but was never really able to identify whether or not I was correct. If this was unintentional, I think you might correct it by couching the internals in-paragraph like you did with the speach communication. You might also use italics to highlight the difference between spoken word and thoughts, but it sometimes gets messy when you need to emphasize something and you end up un-italicizing a piece of thought just to make it stand out.

Finally, I wanted to say that this is a good place to end it but I hope you go a little longer. The way Kaiba and Akane seem to rebound at the end is great, but an epilogue would be a good way to show some additional character development for Kaiba and guide the reader's opinion of how their relationship might proceed. If you wanted it to be more open-ended then by all means don't ruin your vision, but...well, it's my review and thus my opinion. Hope it helps!!
~ Wrin

An excellent and fun story, and a plot that isn't very common - usually it's Ranma adding to the Senshi (Fist of the Moon) or being one of the Senshi from the beginning (Contrast Match), not replacing one fallen in battle. While this can be a natural stopping point for the story, with Kaiba united in mind as well as body and Akane having made her decision both to stick with Kaiba and become a Senshi herself, it does leave the enemy they've been fighting still hanging out there, it would be great to see how Akane's decision actually worked out in practice, and other players in Ranma's chaotic life besides the now-dead Ryoga and Ukyo haven't shown up yet. All in all, plenty of room for more storytelling, and I'd love to see this continued.

Could use a little detail in some parts and akane/ranma [not kaiba]/nabiki are a bit ooc, but not much. Otherwise a great fic.

I've read this before and it remains a very good story even the second time.

I like this story and i hope that there will be more in the future.

Aww! That was sweet!

Gimme more please! I want so see an update as soon as possible. This is simply too good for you to put down. If you're interested in talking about this story a bit I'll try helping if I can. And do be sure to update your others. I especially am interested in Serpent of Light.

Until later,
ja ne

Alright, I hate to say it, but I didn’t really like this one, I don’t know why though, looking at it pragmatically, it has several features I like, and not to many marring flaws, I just didn’t really appreciate the combination of the parts into the whole. I usually don’t leave a review if I don’t like the fic, so I don’t know why I am doing it now. Alright, I think your grammar and spelling was good, a few word duplications though. The story itself was interesting, dark enough to keep it original (for Ranma-SM, they always seem so peppy). On the dark side, it had more than a hint of dropped plot devices (third voice in the back of Kaiba's mind, Neko maybe), and reeked of forced creativity near the middle. Strangely, I WOULD recommend this to a friend, though I doubt I will ever reread it. Ciao

nice idea to bring ranma into the group but you may of for got that sailor moon with the silver imperium crytal can revie oeople and heal them so you might want to explain why this did not happen with Amy,Rei and the others.

A bit obvious, no?

this is cute. I wonder why it doesn't have more reviews. Anyways, I hope you update soon!

intresting story

Great job but is this the end of this great story. I hope not but then aging thats up to you not me. Until next time keep up the good work.

Good story. you should think of giving this story a nice epilogue, or at least another chapter for resolutions with the families, as well as maybe a little panda bashing. just a thought

Thanx--DarkHeart >=P

DON'T GET ELIMINATED!!

Great job if I do say so myself. Until next time keep up the good work.