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I wondered for a min if I had missed something, then realized you took a different direction. Of course, I should expect that by now :D

Zoila Panchenko. That's my guess. j/jk ;) I think I lost a thread somewhere.

Good chapter once again.

Excellent chapter. I really like this story because it is very different from others.

My instincts say that he (Shepard) is employing Kasumi to steal something, but the specifics escape me. Perhaps the highly specialized machinery needed to produce the Hormone?

The action scenes with Wrex were brief, but very high quality, some of the best action in the story thus far.

I suspect that Shepard is going after Okeer next.

Guardian of the Sacred Emerald Flames

It is excellent chapter.I look forward to future updates.

He's so much smarter than regular Shepard, Good as always :)

Pet :P

You fixed the heavy stuff and left the easy stuff slip - I have to agree with Evillevi - you can refer to the two Sheps by first name. Good job on the overhaul :)

Cheers,

Me

The technological lingo was understandable even for a total layman like myself, and high-tech counterespionage can become a little dry, so good job with that.

My prediction for the double-agent is Garius.

Sonia Hudson sounds like serious bad news. It was kinda neat having Miranda make a cameo appearance.

More Tali Zora, if you please.

Guardian of the Sacred Emerald Flames

Another great chapter in a great story!
Always a fan of writers who make an effort to give plausibility to a story.

Thanks for trying to make it easier on those of us who do not have degrees in computer science.

The german you are using feels old fashioned, in keeping with ca.'40's german. Intentional?
Is Shepard always so formal with his mother or was there some sort of regression in the german speaking nations to more old school social protocols? If not the more colloquial version would be "sei vorsichtig" instead of "gib Acht..."

Also, my money's on Alenko being the mole/traitor.
You mentioned earlier that Udina wanted to groom/corrupt him for his own uses, since Alenko is spec ops and thus not accomplished with spook-work.

Followed and favved.

It is excellent chapter.I look forward to future updates.

.. we get it. You know your WWI - interwar - WW2 history. Seriously, you can start drawing inspiration off the Cold War any time now...

Like the plot

Exposition overload. A large number of your sentence structuring is rather dry and... mechanical. And that makes for stale reading.

Suggestions

1) First remove the cmdr/captain Shepards. It is confusing since they both share the last name. If you have to just introduce them by Commander/Captain XXXXX Shepard and refer them as XXXXX from then on.

2) Find a way to make your sentences more naturally flowing. One way to do it is to Seperate the actual problem as a technical explanation for another technical character and get shepard to simplyfy the problem to explain to his mother.

3) Also seperate your paragraph to include one point per paragraph. This makes it easier on our eyes since it flows better.

4) Get a more coherent POV. Personally you seem to be changing POV style throughout the chapter. This is a style problem since it makes your writing look... off.

I find it strange that he wouldn't remember what happened to the queen. He either lied about it, was influenced by the queen to let her escape and cover it up or somehow erased his own memory to cover the queen's release.

Good to see you writing again after such a long absence, it's very good quality!