|Reviews for HAD|
| nairiefairie 5/21/12 . chapter 1
hey there. i like to leave helpful reviews which you may not like but here goes.
spell check or a betta.
i know its exciting to put up a chapter but you really need to review your work before posting.
in the word tomorrow you have an 'a'. little mistakes can ruin the best of stories, trust me i have done it a lot myself.
second thing i want to point out it the music thing you have going. i can't stress enough how much i don't care who composed the nightmare before christmas, nor can i be bothered reading the long list of cds. can i ask you a question are these really just the bands you like, not necessarliy the type that fit into your story? food for thought. most the time its best to say mainly i (your character) like rock music(pick the style pop,indie,metal but remember it helps define your character but no one really needs the exact names of bands) but i have been know to have girly moment and listen to songs even i find embarrassing (lol that my friend is sara baraeilles). sometimes details can be over kill and can make your oc into a mary sue or self insert, and nobody wants that.
last thing i'd point out if i was change anything was to drop the background before the start of your chapter. i get this is why your character is the way she is but you need to build the background into the story not slap it at the start.
| XxXFallenAngelsXxX 4/4/12 . chapter 1