My favourite ME short, period. Thank you so much.

Undisputably the funniest thing i have ever read, no doubt.
I absolutely love it, please do more like this.

Wow. Just...wow.

The one sane man...

*Cracks up laughing*

Oh man, after a long and painful slue through the equivalent of trashy romance novels in search of something good to read, finding this is like a breath of fresh air. It seriously amazes me how many stories are listed as humor that aren't even funny and should only be classified as romance and/or drama. To be able to sit back and read this and bust out laughing at least three times pulled me out of my funk of ever finding another good story to read quite nicely. The omake's were an especially nice touch, especially considering I don't even usually like omake's.

I will admit there were two jokes that went over my head though. The first was the Geth being guilt tripped into entering a Quarian suit situation. I think I'm missing context there since I don't understand why a Geth performing a program function in a suit would be any different from the hundreds of Geth already swarming inside of each Geth Platform.

The second one was actually the second omake. It was easy to recognize the Elcor's speech pattern in the first one, but I didn't catch what the speech pattern for the second omake was of. I guessed it might have been a Varren, which picturing one of those in a french maid uniform and all that entails is seriously entertaining, but I wasn't sure.

I died laughing, literally. Elcor meido? Rachni drinking from the toilets? Grunt trying to cook pasta? The asari painting rainbows and ponies on the Crucible's hull? Asari novels with sparkling Ardat-Yakshi?
Damn, I could stay here all day listing all the things I liked in your fic...

This. This is the very model of a well written crackfic, and it is wonderful. I always crack up at "Geth do not intentionally urinate".

hehehehehheeeeh ahh its hard to tell! ahhh at a guess umm...

the part where the Geth and Hackett bonded over pitableness and how the Geth won out for having been kinda sorta raped by a female Quarian loL!

uhh Grunt cooking and the side effects of IT for another! hahahhahaah.

annndd...

("Are you kidding?" protested the turian. "Imagine how well they'd bolster the Citadel Fleet! They're longer and thicker than anything I've ever seen!"

What.

"The payload it shoots is greater than anything anyone else has!"

Right, thought Hackett. One's an instance, two's a coincidence…

"With salarian enhancements to give them stealth technology, we can easily penetrate the Reaper fleet from the rear!"

…He's doing this on purpose. I swear, he's doing this on purpose. Half-senile my ass.

"We cannot let this superiority go untested!" Senilius continued to rage. "Our reputation as peacekeepers of the galaxy is on the line!"

Hackett could feel the aneurysm coming on. Hell; Rutherford could feel Hackett feeling the aneurysm coming on. God, the admiral complained inwardly. The end of the world is upon us, and we're having a naval dick-measuring, pissing contest.

Either Senilius could read minds, or Hackett's despair had been so great that it began to emit some set of subliminal brainwaves acting as an alternate form of telepathy. "This is not a pissing contest!" Senilius protested.

The geth platform beside him agreed in an unusual gesture of solidarity. "Geth do not urinate."

It was at this moment, however, that their conversation was interrupted by a loud crash; the hangar, which was storing a lot of construction equipment being moved here and there, echoed the sound of a few metallic beams falling down from its pile, one of them momentarily impaling a nearby geth colossus. Nothing that looked serious or life-threatening – or functionality-threatening, one supposed, given the nature of geth platforms – but there were still smoke and sparks coming out from the hole the metal beam tore through the colossus.

Making several mechanical groans for a few seconds, the colossus suddenly spoke in a linguistics emulator that became standard issue amongst all geth platforms since Commander Shepard effectively ended the Geth War: "Heat management system damaged. Activating secondary mechanisms. Ejecting contaminated coolant."

A small hatch at the bottom of the colossus opened and swiftly ejected a long stream of white-colored liquid swiftly forming into a puddle that probably was coolant, except that was a detail no one really cared for given the context of their earlier conversation.

Senilius' mandibles flared.

Hackett's eyelid twitched.

The geth shrugged. "Geth do not intentionally urinate," he amended.")

hehehehheeeh those are undoubtedly my top three favorite moments lol...

ohhh heheheheeh.

Uh... Humor is 'alien' to you? :D

For whatever reason, I don't believe that in the least. ;)

Probably cause I was laughing hard enough to keep people awake all the time I was reading it. :)

THANK YOU for making an actual fun ME3 fic, rather than an ending fix, or big drama thriller. I haven't laughed that hard in ages. :)

That was pretty funny. Poor Pyjak, what did it deserve to become grunt stew?

This was fucking brilliant!

I am dead, too much laught.

I really love the Elcor Maid and the discussion with the Rachni Queen.

If you had any idea how long it's been since I've actually been able to laugh...good work.

Brilliant. Goddamn brilliant.

Hahaha, very well played.

I'm sorry, there is an untruth here that cannot be allowed to pass. One cannot be alien to humour and write a crackfic of this level of excellence. You, sir, are an overly modest fraud, and an excellent writer.

A mining laser out of pistols? I wish I was a turian...