:( :( :(

I really hope you can update soon:)

Please, please, please, please, please, please, pleaaaaasssseee, update soon! I loved it!

Nice!

This was good! fancy finishing?

oooo this is good. is it like a parallel universe of ra or something?

Okay, first off, WTF is quizzazz?

Second the two of us made up this story before we even knew about fanfiction, fiction press or * angry hand gestures * any other story websites.

Your just an angry little person and if you don't like our story, you can stuff it.

Kay thanks! Have a nice day .

funny it is like my story The last Ranger's Apprentice on a site called

Ru :3

I helped her write this story and find nothing wrong with the way we do our POV switches.

so meh

and i know the whole girl ranger thing is over used, but its not like she is the only character we added.

ok i really like you story blaith, but i have a few idea's.

when you choose wether to have a first or third point of view, you need to think about which one would be better for you,

if the main protagonist has really big emotions and thats critical to the story, then first person would be perfect, but the way you switch between character's isn't necessary, it convolutes your story and makes it less enjoyable to read, if you read something like john marsden's : tomorrow when the war began, you will find the perfect use and execution of the first person point of view, it sticks with one person, and conveys the protagonist's reaction's to a predicament and how they feel.

third person would be perfect for this kind of story for instance at the first chapter where you had rafe's point of view you could of easily changed the focus of the person in the third person viewpoint, ill show you:

*just at the end of where you focused on rafe's viewpoint*

to the barons unaware's a girl, in fact the very girl they were discussing, raven nightshade, was sitting upon one of the highest tree's in the castle's grounds, level with the barrens quarter's, a perfect view point. she raised an eyebrow balancing precariously on the tree's branch's not liking what she heard

"she's a girl, a letter to the king won't change that!" the Baron argued, still to the unaware's that that very girl was listening to their conversation.

its just an idea, i hope you see where I'm coming from.

Keep up the good work :)

Pretty good, although I hate girl rangers...so cliche

This sounds like it's going to be funny, please continue!

No offense or anything but there are way to many girl Ranger stories out there and this sounds like the same story line as they al do. Your writing is good however