|Reviews for Love Knows No Race|
| Night-Waker 1/16/13 . chapter 11
Uhhh... okay, I think this was your first fic so... I guess I should go easy on you. But really, you coulda done better. Honestly from the grammar to the characters, EVERYTHING needed work.
First off, Red and Purple wouldn't just sit there and whine and cry if they were gonna die. They have an entire. Stinkin'. Armada. They would've went to Earth and been all like: "DESTROY THEM! And someone get us donuts!"
And that whole thing about that Feo guys being the worst Invader ever, that honor goes to Zim, thank you very much.
Plus, how the heck does a robot get pregnant?! Not to mention you used the annoying cliché of having the SIRs have names that rhyme with GIR.
The plot twists could've been better too. Especially when you kinda gave away the twists a bit in the A/Ns in the beginning of the chapters. And the whole thing about Zim and Dib being brothers and Red and Purple being brothers too is more disgusting than interesting. Many people, including myself, find incest just plain sick.
I'd go into more (Like that whole thing with Sek and Zim and Dib being the Tallest's sons), but the other reviews have done it for me. So I suggest you seriously consider rewriting this. I'm not flaming you, just offering constructive criticism to help you.
| Ex-Invader Raymond 11/22/12 . chapter 1
Why on Earth did I read this? I'm serious...and I'm not gonna write...or type
in this case...a long review criticizing this story. It would waste my time. And in
my opinion,ZaDr sucks. GO ZATR!...sorry for that. Reason why I think that,they
are enemies,just like Zim and Tak...but,who cares right? And who cares about
this review? NO ONE!...again,sorry for that. Well,I gotta go read a good story
now...oh,and shout out to Charlie Sheen.
| Si1verwing 10/5/12 . chapter 1
And you decided to make your readers' eyes bleed...why?
| RoboticMasterMind 8/10/12 . chapter 1
When you wrote this. I hope you were lying about your age and was actually 10 years old. Because not only did this story sicken me, and made me want to stab myself multiple times.
It is so badly written, OOC, the characters destroyed the laws of physics, the plot is twisted up or changed so many times that it makes no sense what so ever, and is the most disastrous excuse of a story I had every read in my whole life. In some of the chapters I doubt you ever used a dictionary, and even watched the show for the matter.
I really hope you can write now and if you were smart, abandoning this account to spare yourself of embarrassment was a very good idea. If you really did, and even made another account to hide your shame, congrats. I'm just wondering...Why didn't you delete this horrible excuse for literature?! I was hoping for some lulz but instead of being even slightly amused, this fic made me want to take a flamethrower and burn this fic. That's how bad this is!
| The One They Called Quail 7/14/12 . chapter 1
Yes. Well. How do I put this lightly?... This story sucks. Yeah, that was pretty light, considering the horrible things that are going through my head. I can almost see your angry stare. You're thinking that I'm just another dumbass reviewer with no base for my bad review. Well you are wrong! Let's go over why this story sucks, shall we?
1) You have proven that you have no idea how pheromones work. They are not 'liquidy.'
2) Your grammar, while better than, say, My Immortal, could use some work. Majorly. For instance, how does Zim 'cautiously step up to Dib' from half a mile away? Jesus Christ. And also some hilarious comma placement: "As was Zim, Gaz was going with some freaky guy who she had fallen in love with a few weeks ago." Do you see the error? That comma after Zim infers that Zim, like Gaz, was going home with some creepy guy. It's actually the only funny part in this story.
3) When you outright state IN YOUR OWN SUMMARY that the characters are OOC, than you know something is fucked up. And trust me, you hit that nail right on the head. Dib is all flirty and giggly and Zim is full of smiles. Gaz is the most in-character person in this chapter.
And so ends my first, and only, review. I could go on to criticize all your other crappy chapters, but that'd just be redundant, yeah? You should know (even though I'm sure you've already been informed) that this story has been MST'd (read: ripped to shreds) by a brilliant individual known as theskepkitty. It's hilarious. And you know, don't take this too hard. Maybe you've realized how much this story blows. Maybe you've come to terms with it and have progressed into a better writer. But if you haven't... then every snarky word of this should be taken in full. Have a nice day.
| MarissaTheWriter 3/20/12 . chapter 11
OMG this is sut a god story! The parin is kinna creepy an gross but I like the shokin plot twists and story turns.
| Spitting Darkness 1/14/12 . chapter 11
Let me just say, if you thought "You're a freak, was bad, you haven't seen anything yet. If you're still here.
This story, and I use the term loosely, is terrible. It's a mess, plot wise. You keep introducing new plot threads and devices, only to forget about them, cause the story to feel confusing and half finished. You have no idea how to spell, and I doubt you even know what grammar is.
The story started off okay, in a 'so bad its good' sort of way, it at least felt a little like the original show. Then it because some over dramatic space opera half way through.
You should try to write a rough draft first, so you know what's going to happen, and you can improve as you go. Some writers make as many as 20 drafts, and it shows. This, it feels like you wrote it on a napkin while sleep deprived.
If you cant be bothered to write ahead, and some authors can write serialized chapters really well, you should at least have some idea what should happen. Or at least reread often to make sure you have no continuity errors.
Characterization and other complains.
Why would Red and Purple be so happy and gun-ho about giving ZIM and Dib all their old stuff? Didn't you ever watch the series? They hated ZIM, hell, they were afraid of him! You could have at least said they were pretending, or afraid that ZIM would one day figure out the truth, or ashamed that their son destroyed the planet?
Also, crying/homosexual. Gay men do not cry at the top of a hat. Hell, most women dont do that, unless their going through puberty. Furthermore, making characters cry a lot doesn't make it look like they're going through hard times. It makes it look like they don't know how to handle themselves. You save something like crying for something really bad, when the character has been pushed to their limits. You just made Red and Purple look like emo, teenage girls, crying because 'life is so haaaard!'.
You really need to learn more about plot twists and pacing. The 'surprise twist' was terribly executed, and had almost no baring on the story. Also, you should warn for incest. It's a trigger for some people, and it's really rude of you not to warn for it.
Speaking of poor pacing, the conflict with Sek was also terribly contrived. She doesn't show up until over half way through the story, and doesn't become important until the last few chapters. It just shows that you had no idea where to go, so you were just pulling things out of a hat. It really shows in chapter 9, where it seems like you forgot a chapter before that. It feels like a completely different story. In fact, it would have worked slightly better as a separate story.
Why did you also introduce the concept of Membrane being an Irken if you were just going to abandon it? Heck, there's so many concepts you introduced then abandoned. It makes you a lousy writer.
Also, the story that Sek tells at the end? Are Irkens space Islamic? Or was Sek Muslim on Earth? It just seems to come out of no where. There also the fact that you were plagiarizing from another person's story. You're so lazy.
This story is amusing and silly at first. Then it just deteriorates into something god awful and insulting to the readers intelligence. I know this story is a decade old, and I really hope you've improved since then. Heck, I think you have no place to go but up.
| ZaTrIsTheBest 3/26/08 . chapter 11
MORAL OF THE STORY: That there are no ends to love, and that you should never judge or force other’s love.
and what about zim, dib, gir, kir, and vir? wheres there love in the end? hugh? HUGH?
| invader nir 11/12/05 . chapter 11
YOU ARE THE COL CAN I MEET YOU MY NAME IS JENNIFER TIFT I'M 13 AND MY EMAIL IS JENNI NIR 13 _
CALL ME INVADER NIR OK! TALK TO YOU LATER OK !
| Phantom Panda 1/6/03 . chapter 11
I cried again. I'm sorry. I'm a sucker for ZADR and PxR fics... their sort of a guilty pleasure. No matter how OOC they make the characters, their the saddest, most beautiful fics ever, if written well. OK. that's all. bye. "love knows no race..." I always cry at that part.
| Phantom Panda 1/5/03 . chapter 1
I read this story a while ago and after getting an account I returned to it. This always makes me cry. I hate to admit that I do lie ZADR and RAPR fics, no matter how unrealistic. But yours is creative and pretty much believable. Ok, thanks so much. I love this story, this cry-making story.
| Happy-Noodle-Grrlnot signed in 8/16/02 . chapter 11
that was so sad. it was very pretty
| Happy-Noodle-Grrl 8/13/02 . chapter 3
dib's last name isnt membrane. no one knows what it is. but i know for a fact its not membrane.
oki. its good. -
| ROS 8/13/02 . chapter 11
I almost keeled over when I saw this story on the front page again. I started reading it at once. This was a pretty freaky slash story (and I don't think Zyne appreciates it) but it was a good story to read in my case. I would look forward to more. You really are a pretty good author! Tankies for putting me in your story, too.
| who wants to no 8/12/02 . chapter 1
ummm thats kinda rong that dib is gay