That was really well-done and extremely intriguing. I loved it-for beginning to end! Honestly, you are an amazing writer-keep up the fanfictions- I love them!

interesting... love the complex relationship dynamics between them..

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xx

lol, that was weird. I'm mighty curious now, about Hemingway that is. Does he actually write that way?

No commas in the narration..made for strange and unnatural reading...

I liked the story, it was strangely sweet. Stealing the items she needs to prevent her from leaving, such a Tom thing to do. haha

I feel like there is so much subtext here...in the spoken and unspoken.

One, tasty thing.

Hemingwayesque writing style! Oh my!

I LOVED it! Great job!

Grr... apparently, FFnet decides to ignore "remember me for three days". Well, I decide to ignore "login to submit a signed/verified review" in return. There, take that FFnet.

Here is where you can see the difference in reading on paper and on internet the most. Where as on paper it doesn't pose any issues to not have a name behind every line of dialogue stating who said what, when reading on a computer, you strain your eyes too much to follow where you are in the sentence and easily get confused who's doing the talking.

Poor Hemingway was lucky not to be in the digital era. I think I'd not finished the sun also rises or a farewell to arms if I'd had to read them on a PC.

Anyway, I do congratulate you on capturing his style. Indeed, perhaps still a bit too much description, but even Hemingway occassionally said something about the environment. XDDDD

Omit what you and the reader know makes for a truly remarkable writer. *wiggles eyebrows* I can point to numerous fanfic writers, including myself, who can learn a thing or two about that. Delete, delete, delete, writers!

Anyway thanks for sharing and giving me the giggles. Hemingway writing Tomione is just so ...

Yep, I'm omitting the obvious there. ;)

wow, we never did study english to this degree. Hemingway? I love your stories but I couldn't understand this one ... T_T

I love this. I really do. Hemingway is my very favourite author and this was just lovely.

Sweet mother Mary and Joseph.

Well this was certainly an 'interesting' Easter treat. xP

It's such a coincidence that I just studied Hemingway in English class last term! My teacher made us write our own short stories in the style of Hemingway–– one of the best prompts I've ever gotten :D

Anyhow, onto your story. I thought that you captured Hemingway's style rather well–– the short, choppy sentences, the lack of description. I think that you put a bit more setting description than Hem usually does, but, all the same, good job.

I also like what you did with the rain and the setting–– it really ties into the storyline. Also, it did take some thinking to fully understand the story, which is exactly what Hem does to his readers.

Great story!

chrissy

Wonderfully written

...I'm confused