It's a really good idea, but the assassin went from hopeful, cheery and positive to 'drat that' without much fuss. I mean, he just lost, what was it 5,000,000? 50,000,000? I think he'd be a bi more pissed than he portrayed to be. Remember, he doesn't care that he's just attempted murder. He's an assassin who just lost one hell of a paycheck.

"nearby" would sound better

Really enjoyed the POV here, and some of your lines are excellent :) As a stylistic thing, I'd omit the part at the beginning about it being the assassin's POV, as this is pretty much a given. Thank you for writing x

LOL, this is just like how I am. I always annoy the heck out of my brother by asking why especially, 'why is the sky blue?'

Awesome ending! Kind of sad, though, but you done excellent! I will definitely be awaiting the sequel!

aw that was sad.): i think it was a good ending though. great job. really enjoyed reading this story! :D

*winces* Jeez, I could imagine that one. Hitting the pavement with a crack, blood splattering everywhere *shivers* I didn't need that, but nonetheless, great!

Wow that was a very sudden and surprising ending: did not see it coming. I congratulate you: it was awesome and clever writing! :D

I think u should take some of your more popular stories and turn them into more
I'm no fool out

Why does it always have to rhyme

I liked it.(:

That is awesome. I love where this fic has gone.

On another note, I have a thought for the next chapter. Perhaps "the trouble with spies is when their pet zebras die". I have no clue what it would be about, but it's 2 words, z and rhyming with spy, so it works.

Love it! Yokai, huh, awesome! I learned a new word! Haha, update soon!

Whoa. I was not expecting that. But it was still good.

Woah. Not expecting that!