Wow! great descriptions of everything! You might want to make your chapters a bit longer though.

It's really good!

Well, it isn't bad. But it is in dire need of editing.

Nice ending, liked the sarcasm, still needs some editing, but, all in all, solid ending.

I liked that you gave Twilight a nickname and made the Doctor randomly ramble on.

Well, your story has a good start, and I see where you're going, presenting the characters we all know to the Doctor. I believe you got some characters down nicely, but others could be more well developed.

All in all, a good story, a lot of polishing up to do, but good through and through.

If you need some tips on editing, just ask!