Oh boy...what's Josh up to now? I can't wait to see what freaked Neku out so much.

I liked the scene where the gang "woke up" together in the scramble. I wish there were more fics about them coming back to life on here! And speaking of that, I wonder why Eri is the only one that seems to remember.

I can't wait to see what happens next and I hope you update soon!

I like it!

So far, it's a good fic and I'll keep looking for updates! I've noticed a few errors, but it's nothing a little proofreading can't fix. In my experience, I write down my story completely without using the backspace key and then, weeks later, edit it for quality. Every writer has different habits, but I'm just putting it out there.

This looks very interesting! I will definitely read more, but before I do I have to finish the game. I'm already on the third week, so pretty soon i'll be caught up.

So far, your writing style seems pretty good! Glad you're back! Happy writing!

Opening your story with Shiki has made a very positive impression on me. Often, adventure stories open with Neku so this is an interesting change of pace. I especially enjoyed your vivid descriptions of Shiki and Eri; it should be interesting to see where this story will take the readers.

Grammatically I see a few problems. However, fixing any of these technical problems (if I were to go by the book) would seem to detract from the overall flow and tone of the story.

I do have to say that there is one small problem with your characterization of Eri. In the third paragraph, she seems much too...perfect. She has a date to the high school prom with the hottest guy in school, even though she's too young and has this perfect conscious. This is okay...as long as she still has major faults. Later in this story, I hope to see her faults revealed.

I'll be watching for this story in the future.

Until then,

SilverWingedGentleman

P.S. I read your profile. Welcome back.