|Reviews for The Bloodstained Bridal Gown|
| Armand.theoriginal.Sebastian 12/1/12 . chapter 3
| Sarela Jade 6/3/12 . chapter 2
I think this chapter was good, although it did seem to "jump" around a lot. It does follow the movie storyline pretty close, too, which I wasn't expecting because I would think you'd have your own plans for Shelly rather than just putting her in Eric's place and retelling the whole movie in novel form. Other than that, this was well written. I liked the scene when Shelly was resurrected. Very intense :) The analogy to the dirt being kicked up like a fetus kicking the womb was wonderful, too!
Only a couple corrections:
"The woman cried to the heavens, a cry that had nothing human."
I think this would have been better had you put, instead, "at all" after the word "human." It makes it sound a little more endearing, and it makes a little bit more sense.
The very last line, although captivating, could also have been improved upon:
"In her veins run rage." The English language can be a tricky thing indeed; I think it's supposed to be "in her veins ran rage."
Anyway, great job, and I'm hoping to see more from you soon for this story! :) I can't wait til her and Sarah meet up!
| Sarela Jade 6/3/12 . chapter 1
Not bad. Not bad at all!
In fact, I actually really like this whole concept of "Shelly comes back instead of Eric." It's been done before, but not quite like this. I loved how you put Sarah in at the end- it was a nice touch to the original movie when she asks Eric if he's supposed to be a clown or not. *LOL*
I think the part where she was fighting for 30 hours should've been more expanded upon, since it is a critical moment in showing us readers that Shelly will indeed come back- what you have is great, but I think it wouldn't have hurt to have made that little scene a little bit longer.
Off to read the next chapter! :)