|Reviews for family fraud|
| Crash Solar x 7/11/12 . chapter 3
Once again, another story with rubbish punctuation and no paragraph-making. I for one found this hard to read, due to the two reasons above. But as far as I can see, the plot is alright, Natalie may have the charm to become a nice character.
Alright chapter one was a bit boring, you should have started the story with a big bang, but oh well. You should work on your punctuation and paragraph-making. I swear, reading the second chapter made my eyes hurt. You REALLY need to work on your paragraphs were much better in the third chapter but the fact that there was little to no punctuation and bad use of grammar made me cringe. I'm sorry if you think I'm being a 'troll' or being too harsh but this story needs a lot of work.
I think you need a 'beta-reader' to help you. You should look around for one. And should check other peoples stories and see how they structure their sentences and the words they use. I could recommend some to you, feel free to PM me whenever.
To answer your question YES you should continue this tory. But before you post any chapter you should read through it and correct any mistakes you find. xx
-Crash Solar x