Wow, this was really powerful! And I'm not usually one for stream of consciousness stories, but you did it well here. Great job!

Wow. This was really good. It had a poetic flow to it. Sad, too.

Wow... that was cool. Was there an Oedipus complex thing in there? There seemed to be. Anyway, I liked it. You pulled off the "stream-of-conciousness" style well.

Very nice! I like the shifting, poetical language you've written this in. It helps to drive home the conflicting emotions that Harry has about his father and how he wavers between needing Norman's affection and approval, but also hates the man with a deep intensity. It's in-character and beautifully expressed without being bogged down by unneccessary exposition or false sentimentality. It almost reads like really good slam poetry, actually. Basically, this is astoundingly good and I will be keeping an eye out for more of your work in the future. You've got some serious potential!