in your re write dont make ta[i such a chi[dish bitch she was nothing [ike that and its is very irritating to see it [ike that

This was a good chapter. I do wonder tho, the humans, Hackett included, what color hat do they wear, metaphorically, black or white, or is this your reincarnation of Cerebus? Not anti alien, just completely pro-human?

" I'm sorry if you were expecting an epic showdown between the UNSC and the Turians, but that's been done hundreds of times. I wanted to do something a little more original with the first contact."

It was real good, I like it. Did make the humans seem very treacherous right from the start, much like the Sangheili think of us...

Hmmm, well, I've just started reading, saw a chapter named 'rewrite announcement' and read it. So either I'll be able to review as I go, or I'll suddenly find a brand new story posted! I hope the re-write is going well, I wish you luck.

Well good luck with redoing everything bet it's going to be a pain in the ass.

I like the story overall. I personally think you written tali a little wrong. On a side sde in my opinion you made shepard a little to much renagade.

Dude WHY THE FUCK IS EVERYTHING BASED OFF OF FUCKING COVIE TECH YOU HAVE TAKEN A VERY GOOD FANFIC IDEA AND RAN IT STRAIT INTO THE GROUND BY GIVING THE HUMANS A BUNCH OF COVIE WEAPONS AND ALMOST NONE OF THEIR OWN. If you want to make them a powerhouse use railgun and forerunner hardlight tech instead of using powerful but crude and flawed covie tech. I was really getting into your story until I noticed that the only actual human weapon that you had given the humans was the relatively outdated M6D, now I just cant keep reading anymore.

your story was good but if you feel this a frist draft i cant wait for the finshed story
keep up the good work and good luck

I dont mean to be a flamer but I just read chapter 4 and I feel the need to point out the fact that the standard MJOLNIR GEN 2 helmet does not have a slit for the visor if thats what your going for then I think the one that Demarko from fireteam majestic uses is more what your describing.

Dude why the FUCK is everything PLASMA based? I don't care how far they have advanced thats covie tech NOT human tech, it just feels wrong.

I pity you man, I mean, that's almost 200,000 words to re-write. This is probably going to be a long wait...

Re-write everything? Might as well make a Beta reader read everything, fix the mistakes and post it online. This will take a lot of time, ya know.

I love the premise of this. It is amazing.

Halo rings do not destroy a galaxy they destroy every sentient life form within the galaxy starving the flood

Awesome Story! Keep it up!