i am to amzed by this story to say anything else right now

the battle

write more this is too badass im starting to like these chapters you're the only one that i saw out of 56 other people that didn't apprecaite me that i was cool at long last so thanks...i owe you one!...CHAOS CONTROL!

It's a good story, but it has some problems:

It's a bit hard to follow - why would Ron just jump out of nowhere and shout "NO!" to someone he doesn't even know? If he was somehow discovered while listening in on the conversation, it would make sense, but as it is...

Also, how the heck is he supposed to catch a Pokemon when he doesn't HAVE any Pokemon?

Finally, your paragraphs are really condensed. If you add more descriptors and lines between dialogue, readability will improve.

This is a great idea, and I hope your keep up the good work!

-pr

Here's a little tip whenever some one new speaks start a new paragraph. I used to write in the same way that this is written before someone explained that to me and it helped make my stories much clearer right now all of this just goes right over my head and is an eyesore. Sorry if I sound a bit harsh but its true.

Though the idea is interesting and I'd read it if I could.