   iluvaqt
2005-02-17 . chapter 11I hope this isn't a double up. I found this saved on my PC and before I delete anything I check... I can't find it here. So I'll post it. Love the story Baloo. I hope there's more soon.
Superbly written so far. Involved, well narrated and characterized. I like the time-frame you chose. Anything set post mid season 1, would discount Max's feelings for Logan. At the beginning, it was a general compardre type scene.
It grew to affection, then desire and love.
Considering Max didn't recognise Zack, it makes sense that she only recognised Ben because she was expecting him. And when she said Ben. It was more a question for confirmation. Then her immediately knowing him.
So having her attracted to Alec, instead of making him on site, is realistic.
"After all, what sort of genetically engineered soldier designed and trained to maintain the ultimate sense of self-restraint at all times could let himself suddenly be led astray by his dick and a few measly strands of DNA?
They didn't give that a whole lot of thought did they, when they started throwing in animal DNA. I thought 'because of' would sound better here than 'and'.
c2 - I really appreciated you disclosing Max's feelings in this situation. Her feelings towards guns is more than ethics alone. I think she's afraid of them. Not afraid to use them, but afraid of what they do. Emotionally.
They change you. And how people see you. Also, because of what happened to Eva. And as a rebellion against something Manticore trained them for, I believe.
Something I loved about shows like Dark Angel. Witty sarcasm, one liners, quick quips. "The place put Mattel to shame." Pop culture frequents todays shows and adds realisim to the -verse. Great addition. It's peppered throughout all ready.
Very Alec - "Hell, you can even call me God – since that’s what you were screaming last night.”
Interesting turn of events. Finding out about more about what Manticore is now. What those left behind have gone through. Alec and Ben. Max's reaction is done perfectly. She empathises without letting her guard down. Unlike Alec who reacts emotionally quite a bit. He tries to hide it, but not effectively.
"Rare but easy,” Max surmised, following her, “So basically, the gates stay closed most of the time, but when the carnival does roll around once or twice a year, anyone can get in.” - one of those original, only Dark Angel lines. :)
Even in utter seriousness, this still managed to have humour, smarts, and originality - while using subtle canon events.
I've been giggling, smiling and snorting so much throughout this that I'm surprised someone hasn't come in to check on me. I swear, when the phone rang I could bearly answer while trying to stifle laughter. Someone's got to teach me not to read any form of fanfiction at work. Especially brilliantly written pieces. I have such a vivid imagination, it's like watching television. And there's nothing worse, because you look really stupid with a huge grin on your face while staring at some scrawl on the computer screen that one-on else can see.
"...even if he wasn't a member of her original unit, and he was about as irritating as a wedgie… " LOL!
aR! that's what I was mentally screaming when I visualized the moments leading up to the kiss. But it was fitting for the mood and the scene. She did it in Blah Blah Woof Woof when she thought she'd never see Logan again. And who'd blame her for being curious.
All that UST simmering and all that. Alec saved her from what might have been an awkward situation.
In burst of uncontrolled laughter. “I was changing c.d.’s,” she confessed. I'm surprised she even confessed since Alec seemed to be on the verge of letting it slide. If there's one thing I've learnt about men, never ever confess to almost damaging their pride and joy. And especially leave out the part about not controlling the vehile with 110% attention. ;P
Unlike your other readers I didn't have to wait a year and a half. But heaven forbid. I don't think I could have come back to it, if I had. ;P
Can't wait to see more. Hope you don't leave us hanging for too long. BTW - I thought only completed pieces could be nominated at Awards? |
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