Keep up the good work!

i think you should use the maps, if they make good battles i don't think i will complain about them XD

I want to post some OCs but I don't know who they should be with. The pilot chick or the other guy? Any ideas

I would have cut down on the number of colons and semicolons unless you're going for more of a Mark Twain kind of read but the pace was great this time, not trying to bite off too much at once.

The text looks a lot more visually pleasing and bulked up in the first section of the chapter. Try to do it like that, maybe even a little bit more on the action and thoughts to dialogue ratio. I also agree that getting some less extreme characters would be good. It'll help you get some much needed variety and will help things feel more natural. Also, I do think it was a good idea to keep this one rated T. In the other one, the profanity at times felt like it was in the way while this feels again more natural. The more natural, the better. I think the OC dialogue near the end felt a little rushed too as opposed to the bit featuring Greyfield which was fleshed out better, displaying his general incompetency and efforts to cover it up. That much captured his personality as well as his relationship with his soldiers as opposed to one like General Forsythe.

Haha! Bulldog blew up a building! That sounds like him alot.

Good job on how my OCs acted it was perfect.