A good effort! I liked how you tied up loose ends, and what happened to Brad. I never liked him either. Good to see Tank beating him up! However, I feel it was a bit short. I also noticed that you kept switching tenses, such as "Max said as he walked him to the car which is actually a convertible." That is incorrect. You should have said, "Max said as he walked him to the car which was actually a convertible" OR you could have written the whole thing in present tense, so that sentence would be: "Max says as he walks him to the car which is actually a convertible." Do you see where you went wrong? Don't worry, it's an easy mistake to make :)