   Alorkin
2009-05-20 . chapter 20This is undoubtedly one of the finest stories I have evere read. Your set-up, with ithe misintrepretation if the prophesy is brilliant. With Lily having miscarried, Harry becomes her second child, though I think you should have written sonething like "...second son, first borne...' to make it really confusing. But that's just me.
That Voldemort is dedicated to taking the second Potter as his apprentice, is probably the most interesting twist I have yet seen. Providing Death Eaters to protect and train Harry is unheard of.
The ministry's tactics concerning the KGB...the Aurors, is actually within character of the British wizarding world. Their tactics are as brutal and 'evil' as the Death Eaters and I can actually say that the Deez behave in a more humane fashion. (I still disagree with their idea of 'enforced eugenics', though.) The ministry was playing a very dangerous game in allowing the Aurors to be nothing more than educated thugs under the guise of law enforcement. seeing as how they've been given no controls and nearly unlimited power, I wonder how long would it have been before any disagreement with the ministry would be considered an act of treason? After all, isn't the British Ministry in canon, and especially here, based upon a dictatorship? Nearly a totalitarian one?
That Lily is born of a squib line, specifically a Slytherin line, is a nice little twist. That she faced Voldemort in combat and gave as good as she got is another.
Harry has grown up loved but not really nurtured. His best friends are terrorists, who protect him from other terrotists.
Following his parent's murders, Harry has had to grow up a lot sooner than he would have normally. He's had to make some very adult decisions in a great hurry, and as before those who are supposed to succor him want to take him to a place where he knows only harm. (Mundungus & Figg)
At that point, his only goal is to comply with an order given by Lily. "Protect Leo!"
Sirius doesn't help any, seeing as how he is Harry's bogeyman. he's overbearing, and demanding, and like more parents, feels that Harry knows nothing. Unfortunately, Harry's upbringing, as well as the fact that he both watched as the Aurors, (personified in Sirius Black) held a drumhead court, 'tried' and convicted a woman with no chance of defense, and later rescued the woman from these same Aurors as they were about to murder her. The ministry's hunting his parents because they wouldn't actively support the government, and that they seemed to be under the protection of Voldemort, would naturally lead to some serious issues in a child. Here, the enemy is a friend, and those who claim to be your your friends are seen as enemies.
Harry had developed into a hideously powerful wizard, with one glaring block. Leo. Harry is so devoted to Leo, that if the spoilt rotten little bastard told him to jump off a cliff, he would do so without thought. He took his promise to his mother far too literally. Unfortunately Leonard understands this. He has grown up knowing nothing but kindness and ease. As all children, he soon grew to feel he deserved this adulation, and as all children, he began to take advantage of the worshipers...including, most regrettably, Harry.
Bad Juju, man!
The characterizations are well done. Hermione is a little softer around the edges, and Ginny has adopted some of Hermione's brutal directness, yet maintained her own temper. Ron is as clueless as always, and while he is still temper prone, you've eliminated his worst failing. He is not the jealous jerk he was throughout canon. Good job there!
Draco, is far more dangerous than he is in canon. Here, he is careful to push just enough to provoke, but not enough to actually be considered to be at fault. His language is more insulting and direct, though. While he and Lucius, may consider Hermione to be a 'mudblood', I hardly think that would be a word used in public, though you've managed to arrange the conditions so that other ears don't hear.
I wonder how Draco would react if Ron called him 'Death Eater' in public?
Harry is slowly falling to the dark, pushed and prodded there by both Dumbledore's followers and Voldemort's.
The tournament is also a huge testing ground. As in canon, everyone there seems to think Harry pulled a coup, and yet, the consensus seems to be more 'Let them all go to hell except for number one'. Hardly what I would call 'cooperation'.
...and along comes the little brat to screw up Harry's life.
There are so many notable points in this story,I cannot do justice to them. Your 1200 other reviewers seem to agree with me.
I see by the last update that it is more than likely that you have discontinued this fic. I consider that a damn shame, given the fascinating storyline and the impeccable writing.
In the event you do decide to pick it up again, I have placed 'Fugitive Prince' on my alerts list and hope to read more.
Alorkin |
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