|Reviews for Clever|
| MissingMommy 9/4/12 . chapter 1
How in the world did I manage to miss this one as well?
Well, darling, I don't know if I've told you this, but I absolutely love freeverses. And you're right, it's easier to write a freeverse about the minor characters.
I really like how you started with "he's gone" and almost ended with it, but adding that she won't get him back. And it makes me feel quite bad for her, y'know?
"to f ; a" - personally, I would've started "falls" on a different line than "to", because it just looks odd, I guess.
My favorite bit was, "(You're a fool, Rowena.)" It really shows that someone who thinks their so clever can actually be the most foolish. She uses her wit and smarts to get her through, but she doesn't really know the dabble in love. She doesn't really know about it and that's her downfall.
And by the way, cleverer is a very awkward word.
Overall, it was beautifully written.
| Larisya 7/31/12 . chapter 1
| Satan Abraham 7/12/12 . chapter 1
That was pretty freaking amazing. And sad. And freaking amazing.
| Louey06 7/2/12 . chapter 1
This was a very nice poem. i'm really into the freeverse stuff rigt now. nor suer why i just love how you can make ll the words stand out and everything. I give you much respect, I could never write something so cool. Rowena's feelings were so clear and vivid. i love how there is story to something so short and \sweet. Wonderful job!
| Marauder-In-Disguise 6/12/12 . chapter 1
Yay! More freeverse from you :) This was great - I like the bit about her being cleverer and irking him because of it
| Mr Bellatrix Lestrange 6/10/12 . chapter 1
Oh! This was just too amazing! And you hit two birds with one stone, you magical, magical person. One, your freeverse is quite amazing (though, were there any doubts?), and you've written Founder's, and it was good, and gah!
Choosing it from Rowena's POV was quite clever, in my opinion. She had very strong and clear characteristics, so that the whole time you focused on her smarts (even if it was her smarts that caused her pain). And can I say that the nice wrap of "He's gone" and "Because he's gone" made the piece just flow so nice, bringing it back and just being majestic as such.
When Rowena says that she was stupid enough to fall, it really shows how love is viewed in the eyes of a genius. It shows that she was able to view it so that she knew she would get hurt, but in the end she went for it anyways, because it WAS love. And that shows that it was quite strong, because it was the kind of love that makes it not really /matter/. Because you know it will end but you're living in the moment, so that can wait.
"(You're a /fool/, Rowena.)" would have to be a favourite line. It does remind me of that Voldemort quote, and I can hear it with the same amount of malice. But it makes such sense, because she's almost scolding herself for going through in the first place. It's really quite bittersweet.
"(You would have known that he was never going to stay foreverandever.)" In fact, the whole piece she's really chastising herself for this blunder. This line was pure lovely. The freeverse-ness along with the actual material just fit so nice and I'm just enjoying it heartily.
"you ingrate." Her self-disgust, even at this falter she has. It's part of the character you've made her. I do think she would've been as so, like every mistake was the biggest ever because you just don't. Make. Mistakes. There's slight vanity and pride there, but I can see that more in Salazar, how he must always hold the upper-hand, and always be the one who's /right./
The fact that he recognized Rowena was smarter, and thus couldn't stay with her regarding that. My, that was well done. That was just a thousand times accurate. Then, and now. I can see why that would be a deal-breaker. I can actually see the motive behind it all.
"What he doesn't understand
is that /fear/ is a powerful motivator
for everyone." Was just enjoyable in general. And very well put.
As was "And while the Muggles are /afraid/ of magic
so too are the Muggleborns /afraid/ of discovery..."
"And you'll never get him back." Just the heartbreak that I can sense from this line. It was justified, but it was still harsh. And overall I think you just did a lovely job with this. Freeverse and Founder's alike. I thank you, and I applaud your ability.
| Jemennuie 6/10/12 . chapter 1
So I saw this on your profile and couldn't resist because I always find Ravenclaw/Slytherin interesting just because I feel like their houses are the most similar out of the four houses (along with Gryffindor/Hufflepuff).
For the piece itself, I really like how you started by saying "He's gone" - it's an eye-catcher of an opener and I think having her reflecting is an efficient way to cover her opinions on what happened and Slytherin's beliefs.
** (You're a fool, Rowena.)
I love this aside because it seems really human. Like I can totally imagine Jane Doe or whoever going through their daily life and doing something stupid and thinking, "Man, you're a fool, Jane." And of course, falling in love with someone when you know you shouldn't is also very relate-able, and it's kind of nice that it's someone like Rowena who's supposed to be super intelligent because it's like "Look, even super intelligent people do it too!" Even though, uh, she isn't real. ANYway.
Loved this formatting.
I also loved the way you formatted/spaced out the last lines, and your explanation of Rowena's opinions on Muggles was creative but also really made sense. My one piece of constructive criticism is that while I really liked the explanation, it seemed to sort of shift the tone away from the tone for the first half of the piece. I'm not sure exactly how to explain it, but I feel like the tone of the first part of the piece is more dreamy/romantic/less down-to-earth because she's reflecting on her feelings for him, but then for the second part of the piece I feel like there's a hint of "this explanation needs to fit in, but because this is a freeverse it has to be really to-the-point" so the tone comes off as more factual. I'm not really sure if there's an alternative, because there is limited space to fit things in in a freeverse, but I thought I would mention it because I felt like I should give some constructive criticism in my review XP
But, yeah. Overall I really loved this piece and I think you did a magnificent job :D