First the LENGTH! A short, OK story is UNACCEPTABLE! Now I know im not the best writer but I refuse to sit around reading random fanfics to just come across this and not say a word about it. However, during the 91 words, this has shown pretty good potential. Maybe add details and back story. I see u are trying to create a suspense story but that point wasnt the best. I shall help u make this story into something that catches peoples attention because right now this is trolling !