This was an interesting story. However, I think you need to invest in a beta reader or work on your grammar.

Also you need to add a little more detail. You seem to be rushing through your stories. I feel if you slowed down, you could really do something with this.

Next I think you need to work on being true to the characters. They are out of character here. While I do believe Wade and Jackson would be the first to help someone, I don't think they would do it right away. Upham gets on everyone's nerves in the movie. It takes a while for them to warm up to him. Secondly I don't believe that Miller and the others would ignore Upham being treated the way he was. The attempts on his life were just too obvious. Try to make them a little less obvious and I believe you could have something going.

I am interested to see how your writing will develop. Keep trying. Everyone starts somewhere, and I believe you have potential.

Keep writing! Practice makes perfect!

E

OMG really good cannot wait until you update the next chapter I love the relationship Wade, Upham and Jackson have!