|Reviews for Daddy My Protector: Never Let Go|
| ShadowedRose17 6/25/12 . chapter 1
Aw, this was really cute! I enjoyed it. 3
| high.fiving.jesus 6/21/12 . chapter 1
Alright, let's get started.
For this piece, it would've worked better if you had written it from Jackson's perspective when he was older and more able to reflect on what happened. Writing from a baby's perspective is nearly, if not, impossible to do. And it didn't really work in this case. The word's used here were, well, too mature I suppose. If this was meant to be from his older perspective, I suggest trying to make it more evident, you know? Begin with something along the lines of "It's impossible now to doubt my father after a day that hadn't made much sense at the time." Or something along those lines.
Putting the last three paragraphs did in a way save this piece because if a reader were to look back, they would realize that the baby isn't telling the story. However, just reading from the beginning, the idea of a toddler story teller throws some people. Well, most people.
Ultimately that was the biggest, maybe only, mistake with this piece. It was well-written just not exactly fitting. The age felt similar to the story about Ava.
Besides all of that, it was incredibly good. I guess that only thing I can really say is avoid babies. Nobody can really pull off babies.
-High fiving Jesus