|Reviews for Society's Legends|
| Ki-nee-chan 5/22/13 . chapter 12
Please remember that for importing chapters outside programs to FF you usually need to include a line in between paragraphs, it makes things much more readable, when reading on a screen readers need all the visual breaks they can get.
[as of lately] "as of late" makes more sense
[Nor would he] is is generally considered a transition word and needs a comma after it.
[willingly at would alway try] Awkward
[to admit to ones unwanted acts was as admiral as admitting that one is not perfect.] Awkward and Admiral is inncorrct word choice as an admiral is an army rank.
[... nor would the other two brothers, and when Samuel was walking...] Run on, should have started new sentence at "When Samuel"
[reappear with out diner] I suspect minor typo "our" instead of "out"
[A stupid so stupid it is to particularly stupid to explain.] Point one: I laughed. Two: to should be too
[I didn't know but maybe this was] needs a comma before but
Nice description of Noctowl, descriptions make everything better and starting to build up to something more, I wonder, are they about to reach another kingdom? Cool. I enjoyed learning about the group's every day travels. Looking forward to your next update :)
| Ki-nee-chan 5/22/13 . chapter 11
Sorry that mean person that picks your fic apart is back from her long inactivity
[I'm it's not like I said the world was going to explode."] Extra word "I'm" is a little weird.
[tomb stone over there head] Two points: correct form of "there"(place) in this instance would be "their" (Possession form of they) and other point there or their in any form is redundant and can be excluded from the phrase.
[So what is it Effiel, where will you chose to go from here." ] Grammatically correct would be to separate "Effiel" from the rest of the sentence with commas and then end in question mark: So what is it, Effiel, where will you chose to go from here?
[ready fort eh new challenge that awaits.] Just a small typo "for the."
[Samuels was harsh and stern.] Two points: should be "Samuel's" and Samuel's what was harsh and stern? It was a new paragraph suggesting change in content.
[I know nothing about the man] mental snicker as she refers to a bird.
The wondering about relation ship wholes was very beautiful thinking and shows very nice mental development. Though a large part of my is suddenly wondering if she's suffering from Stockholm Syndrome considering where the story started... oh well :)
| XXPay4XtraShippingsXX 4/5/13 . chapter 12
Character development! I love the way you described things :D
| SnivyPro18 2/18/13 . chapter 11
It was short but its nice to see this fic is active again.
| The Great Jay Gatsby 2/17/13 . chapter 11
Effiel seems to have changed since the beginning. After everything that has happened to her I would expect her to change. It's a good story, it has a lot of potential, keep it up!
| Ki-nee-chan 8/18/12 . chapter 10
[I was to slow thought o only had on flat paw] I think more then just a letter got cut out there... a little confusing.
I love how just when I think I have your story pegged you pull the rug out from under my feet and start running in a different direction :)
| OwlWhisper 8/3/12 . chapter 7
Haha, Efiel is off to a pretty good start, huh? PSYCKE! How she managed to offend someone so fast is beyond me! And awww, Conner's getting a little soft spot for Efiel (ew!)
| OwlWhisper 8/3/12 . chapter 6
Hehehe! Poor Mr. Hoots. now he'll have to spill the beans! I’m interested in his past . . . I have a renewed respect for mew (other than the fact that mew's are so cute!) Are you going to make mew2 into her dark conscience, like kill the Pokémon to your left sort of thing? If so, that would be so cool!
| OwlWhisper 8/3/12 . chapter 5
I can't believe how well Efiel is handling the situation. I mean, she's not screaming, clawing somebody's eyes out, OR sobbing like someone stole her ice cream (what's with the ice cream owlwhisper?) but I’m glad she's handling it her way and not my way (my way isn't for super awesome eevee's, it's for jerks like Conner) but I’m looking forward to reading the next chapter!
| Ki-nee-chan 8/2/12 . chapter 9
return of the random typo notice!
[Im not one to interfere.] I'm
['Why did he have to be so weird?' I wondered] forgot the period.
why was she peeved that the lights kept going? she came from a land of darkness... right?
omgosh, your fic is just delicious. betrayal betrayal betrayal. :)
| OwlWhisper 8/2/12 . chapter 4
That was totally unexpected. But after I think about it, it was a good idea. I couldn't see the story continuing on the way things were *trying not to spoil this for other readers* but, um, I think you messed up on some of your letters (like not putting one down in a word or swapping it with another.)
| OwlWhisper 8/2/12 . chapter 3
Poor Efiel! Torn between two life changing decisions! I would probably either die in her situation or get so stressed out that I start painting (I'm weird like that) ;D
| OwlWhisper 8/2/12 . chapter 2
Awkward! Well, that's how I see it, that and scary. Not the I'mgoingtodie scary but more like my ice cream is going to fall of my cone scary. But all in all, it's really cool! Keep this up and you'll be as good as Amelia Atwater-Rhodes!
| OwlWhisper 8/2/12 . chapter 1
Suspence alert! I LOVE it so far! Efiel's curiosity is amazing! *in awe* You'll have to get a steel cage in order for me not to read the next chapter!
| Ki-nee-chan 7/16/12 . chapter 8
Rotom gang huh? yeah a bolt of electricity isn't going to do to much... lol
I didn't notice any typos and this chapter was more discriptive then most. it was very nice :)
Maybe to get more reviews try "LRGR" it means "Leave a review get a review" its a concept I came up with not to long ago. if you post that in the start of your story the lazy jerks who don't usually say anything might leave a review with the allure that you'd go and review one of they're works.