more?...

This would be the definition of perfect, it has such a great alternate ending. The way it is written has that sobering bitter feeling. It gets to me, and that is a great accomplishment in a piece of writing. The way you could tell how they felt. You portrayed them so well. Making it more intense. I really have no critique. I love this story. The description is beautiful.

Don't you dare tell me you won't continue this because I will hunt you down kill you and eat your first born child!
That was such an emotional chapter, it was amazing, especially the ending, the wording perfect portraying her. Damn, I'm addicted, come one! Continue damnit!

I absolutely Love this story. I really hope you'll continue writing.

This story looks like it has potential. I would really like to read more!

wow there was so much anger and emotion there. nice job. I hope more is coming soon.

continue please.