|Reviews for The Oncoming Storm|
| RandomReview 6/13/13 . chapter 3
...and here I thought I would be reading something more original. Maybe I'm jumping the gun here so early on with a few more chapters available to read, but was it really necessarily to narrate the first few chapters of the manga verbatim? I can understand using the basic framework of the manga to tell your tale, but surely you could have taken some liberties for the sake of originality? Well anyway hopefully it gets better...
| Catz1112 6/11/13 . chapter 8
Egads! I'm rather curious how I managed to miss this story for so long... I admit I'm a huge fan of dark twists to the Negima story line... but this... this is just something else...
I know it would probably be more appreciated if I were to put some sort of constructive criticism in here... but... Honestly? When I read this, any flaws that there might be are glossed over by the sheer quality of... well everything, your plot, your "dark" Negi, if you'll allow the oversimplification of it.
Quite frankly, you've managed to get me to invest emotionally in this Negi in just a few chapters in a way that I been since I read Maneyan's "Negima: Shadows of past and present."
I'm eagerly awaiting more from you, and I'm especially hopeful to see more interaction between Negi and Evangeline... Those tend to be great moments, and yours certainly was... There's just something about her personality chaffing against a Negi with maturity forged in the fires of war like yours is that just makes my day, no matter how poorly such interaction turns out for the two of them in the end.
| CV12Hornet 5/10/13 . chapter 3
Okay. Why does Asuna keep calling Negi a brat when he's 15? In canon she could get away with it because Negi was 10, here she wouldn't. You only call a 15-year-old a brat when you're, 70, or something.
| Tikigod784 5/5/13 . chapter 8
This story is interesting indeed! Having randomly picked up Negima when the first volume came out in America, this series has been one of my favorites, and I always fancied the idea of an older, more experienced Negi. The only story I've seen do this before was Juugo! and that had a markedly different protagonist. Your Negi is interesting in a way that I never found the original to be. Far for Gary Stu, he seems like a real character. I'm wondering how powerful he's supposed to be, and if this story actually uses Dresden and Nasu mechanics, how the powerlevels actually work in this.
Also, Kyoto already! You skipped the build-up and went right for the arc that made this series start to shine. This Negi is actually at a disadvantage compared to his younger counterpart, oddly enough. Asuna is afraid and suspicious of him, Nodoka is just plain terrified, he has no bond with Kaede or anyone in his class for that matter, and Setsuna (who probably also took a level in badass for this story) will be decidedly less friendly towards her teacher, though given Konoemon's competence and interaction with older Negi, I'm surprised they haven't been introduced. And don't even get me started on the drunken, womanizing delinquent that is Kotarou. I'm loving what you've done with his character so far, though I'm worried that Negi is unlikely to befriend him in this timeline. Speaking of friends, Fate is actually gunning for Negi? Yeah, Negi's gonna need some help, even if he is a war vet.
Also, having gotten up-to-date on your Naruto, ZnT/AssCreed, and Negima stories, I must insist that you are an incredible writer. I wish I'd found you sooner! I'll be sure to follow your work from here on out. Thanks for writing!
| blazer-6 4/28/13 . chapter 3
good fic i like it so far
| Sudentor 4/28/13 . chapter 8
Hello. Remember how I said I'd leave a proper review? And then remember how I took a month and a half before finally honoring that promise?
...Really sorry about that. Let's try to do this right now.
All in all, the first eight chapters are a rather promising start. Seeing a more grown cast - especially a much more mature Negi - in the plot of "Mahou Sensei Negima" shows quite a number of new dynamics. Perhaps it puts Negi on a level that's easier to relate to, in fact; he acts in a manner not entirely unlike how an actual angry, disappointed high school teacher might act, and - given most of us have been high school students at some points in our life - it feels refreshingly familiar, especially when compared to the usual hijinks relating to the supposed secrecy of magic in canon.
That said, there are some downsides too. Not necessarily "bad" downsides, insomuch as they help characterize certain characters in different ways. Asuna, for starters, is far less likeable in this incarnation than in canon, while it's difficult to root for Kotarou when he's grown and seemingly quite pleased with murdering others. Like I said, it's not a "bad" thing, and I'm certain it's quite deliberate, but without the proper cues to make it obvious that such is meant more as comedy, it seems a little jarring for some readers familiar with the source material, seeing the characters act and react in such ways. I'm certain you are taking this to very interesting places, though, so I'm sure this is a good thing.
The last four chapters have also taken a very significant amount of time to go through. I would hardly have guessed that this was the length you felt was necessary to go through that particular portion of the story, with Asuna, Haruna, Nodoka, and Yue discovering the Negi's secret. It was surprisingly refreshing in that much attention was given to it as opposed to simply glossing it over, but - upon looking back - I suddenly realize that half the fic so far has been dedicated to that. On that note, I'm a little saddened at the end of chapter eight; I kind of ship Negi x Nodoka, so I'm a little "distraught" that their ship seems to be sinking rather fast.
I'm not entirely sure what to feel about you adding the Nasuverse into the mix. On one hand, I do like the Nasuverse, and I think it gives you ample room to maneuver in terms of writing magic and arcane forces. On the other hand, it feels like everyone nowadays is trying to add elements of the Nasuverse into their fic. It's a strangely conflicting feeling. I suppose I will cling onto the guarantee that you'll do it well, though, because - otherwise - your fic is proving to be quite excellent so far.
I think that's all I have to cover for now. Thank you for the eight chapters so far.
| Crow667 4/22/13 . chapter 7
tohsaka rin right? thats the only one that comes to my mind right now after the description ...well keep up the good work and if you dont mind but i kind of dont like this dark negi...he not having a hero complex is very ...disheartening
| illuminios 4/19/13 . chapter 6
Nasuverse? Seriously? Are you sure you can bring the necessary degree of pain and suffering ("Living in Nasuverse is SUFFERING!", yeah XD)? Otherwise, it won't be Nasuverse, you know. Also, the problem of different magic systems...
| chaosglory626 4/15/13 . chapter 8
You are a really good author. You have interesting storylines with the right balance of humor and drama. I can't wait for more, keep up the good work.
| Racke 4/10/13 . chapter 8
An interesting look into An Older War-Veteran Negi, and how such a person would act. Paranoia, nightmares, experience, and a distinctly un-innocent world-view, but that still manages to portray him as a good-hearted individual despite the faults that his experiences has left behind.
Negi rejecting Eva without hesitation, Negi breaking it off with the Library Trio on behalf of a betrayed trust... goodness knows how deep everyone would have to get themselves pulled into trouble before Negi's need to help people allows the fic to begin to even remotely resemble the harem-comedy of the original story.
| zer0light 4/9/13 . chapter 8
ahhh now i see where things differ between canon and this fic.
good luck o the next chapter.
| CKScientist 4/2/13 . chapter 8
Pretty cool. I think a 3-way crossover - Dresden, Nasuverse and Negima - is pushing it a bit though. At the least, I don't think you need all the Dresden Files institutions - the White Council, the vampire courts - along with the Nasuverse institutions - Clock Tower and so on. It is a fluff overload.
Will you be using any Dresden Files characters?
| Deus Swiftblade 4/1/13 . chapter 6
Nice Dresden Files reference. By the way, did you Negi's moniker from Doctor Who or did you come up with it on your own?
| Sudentor 3/6/13 . chapter 5
I'm still on Chapter Five, so extensive comments on this story might be a little premature beyond "I'm enjoying this very much thus far". I spotted something that I thought I might want to point out right now before I forget it, though: In the last segment of Chapter V, Seruhiko talks about the situation between Kanto and Kansai, with "there's been more anti-Western rhetoric coming out of Osaka and Kyoto". I'm not sure if this is a typo, but I think you meant to say that there are "anti-Eastern rhetoric", as Osaka and Kyoto are part of Kansai, the western portion of Japan. It would be very strange for Osaka and Kyoto to be hostile towards themselves, after all.
As an aside, I have also read your "On the Wings of an Eagle". I have not left a review - I'm admittedly not very good at those - but I would like to inform you that it, too, kept me very well-entertained. Lastly, thank you for favoriting my "Mistakes Worth Sharing".
I will try to actually leave a substantial review when I've caught up with everything else.
| Wandering Sage 2/22/13 . chapter 8
...you know, things were going good with just faint references. this however seems to be a tad too dark a tad too early. still a good read.