|Reviews for Moments Like This|
| DjinniFires 4/10/13 . chapter 1
I'm canon blind, still, I find Lucas well-characterized by his actions (typical teen not looking up from his game), Nathan well-characterized by his concerns (a combination of being professional as a captain and his own personality), and Kristin by her reactions to him, especially her very warm reaction to the sweatshirt.
Perhaps just a few phrases would orient us ignorant ones, though, such as what children (e.g., from a school, etc.?) and from where they were rescued - even though I gather this occurred on the show. A teensy bit of physical description might be useful, too (loads of physical details can be provided about any character played by Scheider, am I right? ;D
Nathan's interaction with the hologram of his dead wife is interesting - particularly since he goes *back* to it rather than leaving it turned off and immediately going with Kristin. He has issues to work out.
An opening should contain hints of what's to come. Don't know but possibly Kristin's cold is significant. At the very least, the possibility that Lucas will be sent out again on a dangerous (or even more dangerous mission) despite the captain's best intentions. We'll see!
| Aiko Isari 4/9/13 . chapter 2
Okay, let's jump back into this groove... thing.
To start off, now that it's been a while, I figured out why the dialogue emphasis didn't bother me this go around. I realized: Oh... this feels like the show. I have never seen the show, and know limited information from the wiki, but this feels like a show from that time period. Thank you Star Trek for reminding me of old time feels... anyways, onto something directly involving the story. My mistake.
I liked reading Nathan's thought process in the beginning of the chapter. It shows his own sense of safety has been affected, rather than him being "I am unruffled commander dude" because the mortality of himself and his men has been brought to light again and that's pretty harsh. Of course, they're all happy with themselves and being okay, but... at least commander is rather thoughtful about it all.
"Bends?" I'm afraid I honestly can't recognize the term.
It seems like you're ego's a little bruised.- Ouch though these words brought with this whole scene an image of a hissing, wet cat. I feel for her, but still. This really doesn't feel like it will end well. "No, dear Captain, it's a promise!"- Okay yep it didn't end well. Ended rather childishly actually, but... I think they'll work through it so I'll entertain myself with amusing faces of pouting.
"You'll find out in due time, Mr. Wolenczak; you'll find out in due time."- Ah this implies so much fun entertainment on the way. Women and their wistful planmaking *enjoys it*
"What makes you think I would do such a thing?" 1: You're the captain. 2: You're incredibly protective. 3: You're Nathan. Does that cover it?
"I am not paranoid,"- Yes, yes you are. It's in the job description.
Hmm... running out of stuff to say. I think that this will be an enriching experience, not as much the friend they are seeing but the separation and existence without each other could prove beneficial. I hope it does, so we have less shouting matches and fits after debriefings. Or are these a matter of course? If they are, that's rather hilarious.
Thank you for the read.
| lovely-logic 4/9/13 . chapter 6
I'm liking the Nathan-Kristin dynamic in this chapter. As usual, you focus mostly on their interaction with each other, and I think it worked out especially well in this chapter. The first scene was definitely my favorite. I like that Kristin is too stubborn enough to seek true medical attention, but opens up to Nathan. The hand holding between them was cute, and I can see the seeds of a potential romance developing between the two. Not sure if that's where this is going, but I hope it is!
Regarding Nathan's nightmare/memory, I think you did quite well describing his death. While the whole 'out of body experience' is a device used in a lot of stories, you made it unique by describing the relationship between Nathan and Bill before delving into their deaths. By doing so, I remained engaged and curious, so good job keeping his past relevant.
This is the poem's second appearance in the story, and now I'm doubly curious as to how it'll play into future chapters. The little dinner invitation at the end was really the icing on the cake, and I'm interested in how their relationship will develop. Good job
| Mathisblu 4/7/13 . chapter 18
This chapter was important and certainly not easy to write. Kristin really needed to talked about her feelings.
Bringing a new charater.
I know since you told it, that the story is coming to a end but I really like the way you're going there, one small step at a time, carefully and most of all with so much softness for the main characters.
Thank you it was as always very appreciated.
| StormRex Lancer 4/1/13 . chapter 1
First off, I am fandom blind, so forgive me if I might not understand a few things in this fic.
First off, you conveyed Nathan and Kristin's romantic relationship quite well through uses of intimacy without too much steamy moments. For example, Nathan giving Kristin a jean and a new sweater to show his care and concern for her. That's sweet. But I can also see that Nathan was having a hard time coping with the death of his former wife, constantly having to talk to her via hologram, that was really sad, I mean not being able to get over your love ones, but also constantly struggle with the angst of possibly falling in love with Kristin? No wonder it has an 'Angst' rating.
Some things, though, there are some conjunctions that are starting the sentences, and tyou used 2100 hours? It will be great of you said 'Nine'o' clock'. That will be nice, and simple for people who might not be good at reading the twenty-four hour clock.
Other than that, that was a sweet first chapter, hoping to see its development next ")
| Edhla 3/27/13 . chapter 18
It was lovely to see Carol and James interact here; it really does (almost literally) give an extra dimension to their characters, since they're seen not only to interact with Kristin or Nathan, but "on the same plane", as it were. For all that she's obviously concerned about Kristin, I liked the nod that Carol really doesn't know her well, and who else to turn to for a discussion about that than Kristin's brother?
"The admiral..." nope, I'm not liking the sound of Admiral Noyce making a visit. I expect he's a busy man and only drops in for Serious Business.
"Not even ten minutes later..." this expression struck me as a little odd for a narratorial comment, although it would probably sound fine in dialogue.
"And that means no work." I love that this is the way "rest as much as possible" had to be spelled out to the workaholic on board :p
I really don't blame Kristin for being hacked off about the Rebecca thing. Of course, Joshua is only trying to help and of course Kristin *really* needs help with her mental state, but the way it was done was kind of... blatant. I'd had to be Becky in the middle of this. Awkward times. Still, I'm glad that Becky has a good head on her shoulders and was able to give Kristin some supportive straight-talking, which she so clearly needs. I had to smile at "happy?" :)
Nicely done! x
| Edhla 3/26/13 . chapter 17
'Bout dang time those two got it together :D
I really like that you start off exactly where we left off; we were waiting for this, and I am all about the instant gratification :D That said, the first line sort of threw me for a couple of seconds, which may well be my problem. It seemed a little vague (which is fair enough too because she WAS sort of there and sort of not!)
Just as an aside here, and as always, I think the dialogue really zings when it's accompanied by an action tag; for example, Kristin's little pauses and smiles.
Excellent character moment for Nathan, telling her that she has no need to be sorry for something she couldn't control; it shows a deeply pragmatic side to him and is just another facet of his character, and since this is character driven, that's great. :D
Ohh, the awkward. Man, there's something so poignant about two adults, no longer young, who have both been married and had children by other people, who cannot get it together enough to talk about how they feel. Awwww. Come on, guys. Get it over with :p
"I didn't see the point anymore." While I don't have an unfaithful ex-husband, I can totally see Kristin's position here :p I like that it's a kind of weariness, rather than bitterness and hatred.
"I…I have feelings for you, feelings I haven't had for anyone else in a long time, and I assume the feeling is mutual?" - oh GUYS! Just say it like it is! This is so sweet and painful at the same time. They're adorable, like a pair of 12 year olds in puppy love.
'"... a piece of my mind," she confirmed.' I was a bit distracted by the unnecessary dialogue-tag there... I'm not sure you need a tag at all, since it's clear who's speaking.
And we return to Sailing to Byzantium- and to Darwin, neither of which I had forgotten about and both of which I'm glad to return to. Well done x
| Edhla 3/25/13 . chapter 16
Well! Wasn't quite expecting the "mutter and run" technique from Nathan Bridger here, but I can't say it doesn't work. I still have the slight tingle in my right hand from wanting to slap him, though, the big dork. :p It's kind of a nice character moment that Kristin wanted him to stay and couldn't force him to it.
While I can appreciate Kristin's feeling sorry over what had happened, Kristin's rushing to apologise to every character she meets does, to be honest, come across as repetitive by now. This is what might realistically happen if this was real life, because she's only seeing these people for the first time, but for the fly-on-the-wall reader we're seeing a *lot* of apologising, and it all seems to be taking on the same sort of flavour. Which is why I enjoyed the invasion of Ben. Like Joshua, I think he can be relied upon to crash the angst with his own particular brand of poignancy, and the diversion into the Many Madcap Mishaps of Ben Krieg was genuinely funny and warm. The lobster in particular was a nice gag. I'm not sure if it's canon, but I enjoyed it.
"'Don't you 'Carol, honey' me" is excellent. While I like Carol, I was starting to get an impression of her being a bit too angelic and one-dimensional, as if her sole purpose was to get Nathan and Kristin together, when I'm sure she has other facets to her character beyond the angelic, and did so in life. This is a nice way of speaking to that.
Finally we are getting some answers! And it's about damn time, Nathan ;) Lovely work x
| Edhla 3/24/13 . chapter 15
Nurses: they have no idea or regard for a private moment, do they :p I like the depiction of Amber, however briefly we see her; particularly when she does that annoying thing nurses/doctors do when they warn you about the "little pinch" about half a second before they jab a needle into you. Ouch.
It was lovely to see Katie, and I'm glad that Kristin got some time with her- it's always interesting to see her interacting with living, breathing women :) Just on a stylistic note, if you read down the page rather than across, you can see the "Katie/Kristin verb" alternate seven times. Perhaps consider breaking up the dialogue style there, just for style's sake. However, the content there was good, and I'm glad that Katie is one person who can tell Kristin things like she shouldn't make promises she can't keep- and have that be a gentle reminder, not a challenge.
It was also lovely to see Kristin's brother emerge again, even if (of course) only in dream form. At this point, though, I have to admit (and this may well be me and my sense of humour) I'm kind of (gently) amused that the afterlife is apparently full of people matchmaking Kristin and Nathan :p That would be a very weird conversation to be having with one's brother and the deceased wife of one's love interest, for sure.
And the final line is a nice hook into the next chapter. Enjoyed this one!
| Edhla 3/24/13 . chapter 14
:) I wondered aloud in the last review where you could go from there, since the story seemed to me at that point to be pretty much over. I didn't factor in Lucas, which is a very nice direction to take this in. The last few lines of the last chapter still do read like a last-chapter, so you have the option to rewrite or restructure, but what was explored in *this* chapter was very good.
"Kristin surmised"- missed a full stop, there :) In any case, I'd perhaps leave that off, since we already know that Kristin was surmising- the dialogue tag doesn't add anything.
On that note, while I loved that you explored how Lucas felt in the dialogue between Nathan and Kristin, I thought that perhaps some of it ("And the thought of losing you... I think the thought was too much...") was perhaps a little over-explicitly put. Not that I particularly expect either Kristin or Nathan to be completely incoherent, but Kristin *is* recovering, so there's that. And while I don't at all have a problem with Kristin's tears while talking to Nathan in the first part per se, I think it kind of robs the later conversation with Lucas- and THOSE tears- of a little impact. Perhaps if she were dry-eyed in the first conversation, the fact that she's actually crying in the second would be more poignant? Again, I love the conversation they have, but because Kristin has already been weepy about Lucas in front of Nathan, the strength of her feelings for him didn't perhaps come across as strongly as it otherwise might have.
I love, LOVE that you've returned to the issue of the dreams. The main action of the fic seemed to be over, with everyone rescued and safe, but you're now providing us with some meaty plot to bite down on again, and it's giving your narrative the drive it needs to move forward. That's clever story-telling, and I really appreciate it. It was lovely to see Carol again, though I found the situation of her trying to hook up her husband with another woman to be gently funny :) Kristin's heart-pounding awakening seemed a little extreme for the contents of the dream she'd had- after all, it had been weird and slightly stressful, but not a nightmare, as such!- but the content there was rather nice and I like the way you've structured it so that, for a few lines, it's not totally clear which is dream and which is the conscious world.
And again, the conversation with Lucas at the end was well-timed and nicely written- the dialogue shows us the relationship these two have, and spill both backwards and forwards into the fic to show us how that relationship- and others- affect everyone's character and behaviour. Well done. x
| Edhla 3/23/13 . chapter 13
Well damn, the lack of memory (I don't know if you'd call it amnesia, technically, not a doctor :p) was somewhere I didn't quite expect the fic to go.
Overall, this reads like a rather ideal last chapter, so with several to go, I'm quite interested in what's going to happen next. Some random thoughts in no particular order:
"She asked worriedly"- I'd be tempted to knock that off the line, since her worry for Lucas is already evident.
Once again I'm loving Joshua and how he brings the calm and rational to a scene. He really does seem to prevent everyone from flailing around/becoming overemotional, and that's an excellent anchor to your fic, preventing it from spiraling into melodrama.
The scene between Kristin and Cynthia was very well done, with Kristin's guilt over not being a "normal mom" and having spent so much time off saving whales and things instead... and Cynthia being basically okay with that (so long as it doesn't get Mom killed.)
Regarding your author's note and the conclusion of the chapter- I'm glad that you *don't* have a (to my mind, soppy and unnecessarily cliched) "I love you" "I love you too" between Kristin and Nathan. Like you said, it's never that easy; it's also less satisfying to the reader to have those things just blurted out, even under stressful circumstances. The conversation that they have is a lot more mature, complicated and realistic, and the note they end on is so strong that it's one of the reasons I said above that this feels like the end chapter of the fic.
Enjoyed this one, well done x
| Sierraoscar154 3/5/13 . chapter 10
Ah, things are making a bit more sense (nice title drop there in the chapter, hehe), and I figured that Nathan's previous encounter with death, or in this case, literally dying and being revived (probably had to use lots of phoenix downs for that one!) affecting him for a long while after that particular incident. That was an especially interesting power that was bestowed upon him; it reminded me of Unbreakable or the Sixth Sense or something to that extent. Either way, it was kind of sad that he kept seeing all of his friends like that, going on and on for years, then finally stopping. This is really the part of Nathan that we don't exactly get to see; beyond the cool old guy and the wise commander, there sometimes isn't exactly enough to go on there beyond some of those things, and this background really adds to his character.
Of course, I figured that Carol wasn't far behind, and I guess I was right. But again, it wasn't *exactly* how I figured it out to be (thanks again to the writing), and the choice she offers up to Kristin at the end doesn't exactly pan out well for her fate...but then again, it's a bit of toss up for now.
I don't think Kristin is exactly departed just yet, like how Nathan was saying earlier on in the story, but she's pretty close to it, and maybe they'll get there in time, maybe not. But I did like the input onto Nathan's skillset here, which is admittily cool...in a very twisted, sick sort of way, but at least it adds flavor and a twist onto an already interesting story. Nice work.
| Edhla 3/4/13 . chapter 12
"Just white"- excellent piece of understated description there. I couldn't help but wish for more descriptions of their surroundings in that opening scene, but I love what you have.
I am gaining an increasing love of Joshua. I love characters who bring the mood whiplash. Although this isn't quite the calibre of a mood whiplash, I love how refreshingly normal and calm he is in a crisis. It's almost like "oh hi, yep, you get rescued, sorry 'bout that, oops." And again later with his assurances that Kristin will be "fine." It doesn't negate the drama but it pulls off the pressure slightly so that we have space to breathe.
I like that Nathan calls (called?) Carol "kiddo." D'aww. I didn't feel tremendously sad during that scene, though- I was glad that he was, to an extent, moving on. Which is pretty much what Carol *wanted* him to do. Regarding your A/N on that issue because it's clearly been brought up by others... didn't even register the use of italics until they were mentioned in the A/N, so it worked for me.
Cynthia seems to be one of those fun characters in canon who are touched on/mentioned a few times but are (almost) a blank canvas for a writer. :) I like the way you've written her. She's plucky and (for the situation) level-headed. And remarkably even-tempered, because if I was mistaken for my middle-aged mother, man, I'd...! ;)
Lovely work x
| Sierraoscar154 2/28/13 . chapter 9
If were transparent (and in more ways than one here) I would...you know what, it would kind of suck. That moment of surprise when Kristin passes through Kate (and now that I know the difference between the two characters, lol) pretty much sums up what I've been feeling, and what Kristin is feeling now; really confused. Why is this happening to her? (More importantly, why are there guys with proton packs running in her direction? Just kidding.) In all seriousness though, that would be really scary, and I think you showed that transition from confusion to absolute terror, then to grief really well, just in the first couple of sentences in the chapter.
The entire dream dialogue with Nathan and Carol helped me to put a face on this abstract person that Kristin and Nathan have been talking about the entire time; she's kind of a hero of another story, as some people would say. She has such a profound impact on how Nathan sees Kristin, yet she's still an apparition Nathan's dream-world state; it was especially profound to find out that direct interaction with her and Nathan never happens, and how it was happening at this particular time in his life, when a major crisis has just struck him and the SeaQuest crew.
Well, I guess things are kind of making sense at the end here. I figured it was something along the lines of what is actually happening to Kristin after that entire incident off of the coast of Alaska, but something tells me that there's a huge reason why Nathan is the only one that can see her, and physically interact with her and such. Nice work.
| Edhla 2/25/13 . chapter 11
I feel like it's been ages since I reviewed this one (and probably has. Oops!)
Again, another solid chapter, particularly your plotting and dynamics. So much gets *accomplished* in this chapter- decisions are made, people are found. Excellent :)
I don't know if Carol's "catch" is that much of a catch, to me- even one "get out of death free card" is better than none, right? If I'm understanding her correctly. It's certainly a condition of release, as it were, but if I were Kristin I'm fairly sure I wouldn't think twice about that! Still, on a plot level especially, I'm glad that there's some dilemma in it... some conflict. Makes for better drama all-round :) I *really* love that Kristin was levelheaded enough to draft up a pros-and-cons list. That's it, Kristin, think! :D
I do love how Carol and Kristin interact with one another. A lot of seaQuest is Kristin interacting with the guys, which is great, but there's something in her interactions with other women that really fleshes her out, too.
I'm glad you introduce James there, too, again giving context for Kristin's behaviours and attitudes as well as her history. Nicely done there x
I knew Nathan would find her :D And it's a sweet, yet urgent, note to end the chapter on, nicely played :D The inner sickfic-pedant in me wants to say that he should actually strip Kristin *naked* and make sure her head in particular is covered... but there you go :D
Lovely chapter! x