|Reviews for Michael The Beginning?|
| Edhla 12/22/12 . chapter 1
This is a nicely written little character study and I enjoyed reading it. I thought Michael was an obnoxious little jerk, but in an entertaining way. :)
I thought that your spelling and grammar was mostly pretty good, but that you sometimes dropped punctuation, like '"Hey, kid," the biggest one, a wall of muscle...'.
The paragraphing here is pretty tight, which might be discouraging some readers from really getting into the text. Perhaps if you edited it into paragraph blocks it would look smoother? Up to you. :)
Thank you for writing this, and good luck x