|Reviews for Nightmarish|
| Guest 10/5/12 . chapter 4
Arabic? Indians dont speak arabic. India's common language is hindi. And their ancient common language is Sanskrit. anyways,great story! keep writing !
| Guest 7/11/12 . chapter 3
Genius! India is da bomb diggety.
| I'mDifferent-GetOverIt 7/7/12 . chapter 2
Okay, where to begin with this.
This might have some potential, if you flesh out the plot a bit more and make the overall writing more understandable for the reader. Speaking of the plot, where exactly is this going? I really do not understand. It's all too confusing. There is a fine line between being vague and your readers having no clue what is going on in your story.
Zia's character seems very off. She's not really acting like Zia at all. Another thing that bothered me about Zia is you don't see into her thoughts, her reasoning, her emotions - anything. The wonderful thing about first person is that you can do that. However, you are not using first person to it's full advantage.
The thing that bothered me most about this story, however, was your word choice and spacing. The writing is so...plain. There's no embellishment. While I admit that there is something to be said for plain and simple writing, writing also needs to be exciting for the reader. This is not. And...your spacing. Good gods, help. WHEN SOMEONE IS SPEAKING, IT AUTOMATICALLY BECOMES A NEW PARAGRAPH. I am [not] sorry for the caps. That bugs me beyond belief. It makes your writing terribly hard to read, and it's incorrect.
Bottom line: You need help with this. I would recommend a beta reader.