|Reviews for Fallen|
| julietlopez 4/17/13 . chapter 1
I really got intrigued during the end!
| MuchoMangoz1734 3/4/13 . chapter 7
Please put more! It is really good!
| A 2/2/13 . chapter 10
Hey! Happy birthday by the way( I know it's a bit late) but its the thought that counts! And good luck on ur exams! Please please update I love ur book sooooo much, I practically spend all my time reading fanfic! So I would live it if u updated! U are such a talented writer!
| A 1/22/13 . chapter 10
Please,please,please,please,please,please PLEASE! Update you fan fic, it is the best I LOVE it SO much! I was up till 4 in the morning reading it, I just love it! What ever you do, don't abandon it!
| DivergentDanceFreak 1/10/13 . chapter 10
Continue? Pleeeeaaase? *bambi eyes*
| tuttycute 12/27/12 . chapter 10
I LOVE THIS! LOVE IT! I love Fallen, so I was very happy when I saw this story posted up. Please post another chapter. Please? Please!
| laurie210321 12/5/12 . chapter 10
happy belated birthday
| Alice J. Nightshade 12/5/12 . chapter 10
| TeamAlecVolturiForever 12/5/12 . chapter 10
i know exactly how u feel about exams! i have mine comin' up too. im happy to see that u didnt. i love this story and i think that it's brilliant! thanx again, bye. keep up the great work!
| TeamAlecVolturiForever 12/4/12 . chapter 9
Please update soon. this is the best Fallen story i read so far. i know u said u werent going to stop this story, but i cant stand the wait! so please please please update soon!
| Grammarnazi 11/25/12 . chapter 3
This review was written only for the author.
So first-off, I tip my hat off to you. I've always wondered why it would look like if characters in books actually READ their books, and in this case I think it's pretty cool.
But I have critique for you.
Cam is a demon, sure. And he is known to have a temper. But even he isn't stupid enough to lose it like that when Daniel flips Luce off. Plus, he is ALL over Luce in the past few chapters I've read. I know they have a little connection going on, but he acts as if he's known her forever, which is the truth, but not something he would have let on.
And my biggest critique for you is this: please decide what tense you are using! It drives me crazy! ...Allow me to explain. You are doing something really confusing in the text that someone may have already pointed out. Here's an example:
Daniel looks at Luce. "Don't listen to Molly," he said in a gentle tone. Her eyes soften involuntarily, and he looks away. She can't help but feel disappointed, though she doesn't know why.
See, you wrote "Daniel LOOKS at Luce," but then you wrote his speech to her followed by "he SAID." The term LOOKS has the verb ending -s, suggesting a present term, as in everything's happening right now, right as we speak. The term SAID has a -d ending, suggesting a past term, as in the story has already happened (although that doesnt neccessarily mean its over;). To edit this excerpt from your story:
Daniel looks at Luce. "Don't listen to Molly," he says in a gentle tone. Her eyes soften involuntarily, and he looks away. She can't help but feel disappointed, though she doesn't know why.
Daniel looked at Luce. "Don't listen to Molly," he said in a gentle tone. Her eyes softened involuntarily, and he looked away. She couldn't help but feel disappointed, although she couldn't explain why.
The past tense one matches the way the Fallen books are written, while the present tense one has a greater resemblance to, say, Maximum Ride books by James Patterson. (ps sorry for changing the though to although, and doesn't know to couldn't explain... :)
Anyways, what I'm talking about is called phasing tenses. I see it a lot on fanfiction sites, and it shouldn't bother me since it's such a minor detail, but I feel like it takes away from the magic of the story. You're a really great writer, but that is minor detail is hurting your story a lot, in my opinion.
But that's the thing: it's only my ADVICE to you. My critique. You aren't required to follow it. But I think you should. :)
Sorry for writing so muuuuch!
| featherton.akafeather 11/25/12 . chapter 1
I can't wait till the next chapter! :D
Great chapters so far! Keep it up!
| Guest 10/31/12 . chapter 9
I ment that b was to continue the story
| Guest 10/30/12 . chapter 9
I love it u should keep writing!
| TheWickedMidNight 10/30/12 . chapter 1
I love ur pic. It's really funny.